Life's Twists
by Firebird2083
Summary: Ranma and Genma arrive at the Tendou home only to discover that they aren't the only ones who have been to Jusenkyou...
1. Here's Ranma

**Life's Twists**

Disclaimer: Characters, plots, places, and techniques are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. As such, they are the property of her, as well as Viz and whatever company released Ranma 1/2 in Japan.

**Chapter 1: The Soatomes Meet the Tendous**

Tendou Soun looked down at the Chinese postcard in his hands. It had finally happened after all these years. He reread the rough kanji for the thirty-eighth time to make sure that it hadn't changed. It hadn't.

Dear Tendou,

My son and I are on our way from China.  
See you soon.

-Saotome Genma

Soun looked up from the postcard and sighed. They were coming to fulfill a promise nearly twenty years in the making. But could Soun fulfill it with all the problems in his family?

Either way, it was time that his family knew. No, it was long past time. He took a mighty breath of air, and called for his daughters before the coming tears could overwhelm him.

* * *

Tendou Kasumi was content. She was doing a good job of keeping her house orderly today. Currently, she was cleaning up the dishes in the kitchen after lunch. She was also sweeping the floor on the other side of the room. 

"Kasumi, Nabiki, **Akane**!" Kasumi cocked her head to the side at her father's call and sighed. She looked over at her double, who simply looked back at her.

"I guess we better go see what he wants, Kasumi," Kasumi said. Kasumi smiled brightly.

"After you, Kasumi." Kasumi giggled. It was so much fun talking to herself! She left the kitchen with her twin not far behind her, both smiling identical smiles.

* * *

Tendou Nabiki sighed irritably as she held a bucket over her naked form. What could her father possibly want now? He knew she was unreachable after lunch on Sundays. Today, she had been preparing for an unscheduled romp through Nerima to dig up some dirt with nobody none the wiser, but the uncommon urgency in her father's voice had held her back. She wouldn't want to miss what he had to say. 

She dumped the bucket into the bathtub and put it away before retrieving her clothes from their hiding place. She dressed quickly, leaving the bathroom only twenty seconds after her father's call came.

* * *

Tendou Akane ran through the gate to the Tendou residence with her hair flowing behind her. "I'm ho-o-ome!" Having not heard her father's earlier call, she didn't head for the house. Instead, she continued on to the dojo on the property, toweling herself off slightly as she went. She went into a changing room, coming out moments later in a large, white gi tightly cinched around her waist. She set up a stack of five bricks, and then took a moment to prepare herself. 

"Ki-ya!" She hit the bricks with her palm. After a moment, she straightened up, looking at her handiwork. Four bricks now lie in front of her, utterly shattered. The fifth had been shattered into the dust that now settled over the remains of the other four.

Akane wiped her brow with an oversized sleeve. The sky had seemed like rain, so she had headed home early. She couldn't stand getting caught in her running clothes when cold water found her... they just didn't fit her like that. Akane smiled wryly at that thought. She'd been caught more than once like that.

Her smile vanished. That had been the thing to scare off the boys. So now the only people with any interest in her at all (aside from her family) were Dr. Tofu, the Kunous, and the chef her family had found on their way to China. But Dr. Tofu was interested on a purely professional basis. And the Kunous... well, Akane didn't really want to go there. The last was more of a friend than a possible romantic interest for Akane.

"There you go again Akane," a familiar voice said from behind her. "It's amazing how much of a boy you can be."

Akane ignored the familiar jibe from her sister, but turned around to glare at Nabiki anyway. "At least I don't take advantage of people's ignorance, Nabiki," she said after a moment. Nabiki glared back at Akane, then shrugged and turned around.

"Look," she said. "It's not like this really concerns you anyway, there's no way that any guy would be interested in you anyway." Akane got the impression she had hit a nerve in her normally ice-hearted sister. Nabiki started to walk off before Akane could say anything.

She sighed. "What are you talking about, Nabiki," Akane said as she started to follow her sister towards the house. She looked up at the angry sky. They were already heading inside, but Akane felt like she had to say it anyway. "And let's get inside before it rains."

"I knew you were going to say that," Nabiki said smugly from ahead of Akane. Akane caught sight of the enigmatic smile on her sister's face and frowned. Nabiki usually reserved that smile for her greatest money making schemes. Akane did not consider that a good thing.

It started to rain just after they entered the house.

* * *

The people of Nerima watched as an odd sight passed before them... Well, odd for any other part of Tokyo... except maybe Juuban. A petite redhead was fighting with a large panda around three times her size. And she was winning from the looks of it, too. 

But the really odd thing, aside from the probability of such a fight ever occurring, was the argument the girl seemed to be having with the panda. She seemed to be yelling at it about... getting her engaged?

The fight abruptly ended as the redhead threw the panda down onto a street sign. She picked up a huge pack. "I'm going back to China," she said angrily, turning away. "This is no time for 'fiancés.' Suck on that, old man." With that, she walked off in the opposite direction that the fight had been heading in.

She didn't get far, as the panda jumped up and knocked her upside the head with the downed sign. She slumped to the ground as it dropped the sign. It picked up the girl and the pack. Then it noticed the large crowd that had gathered to see the fight.

"GRRRrrrrRRRRRrrrrRR!" Many people left as the panda turned in the other direction. "BRRRrrrRRRrrrRRrrR!" Its stomach did the talking for it before it managed to growl at the remaining spectators, who were now standing more than throwing distance away. Satisfied despite the embarrassment, the panda trudged away in the direction it had been heading during the fight.

Back in the crowd, two teenage girls nodded to each other and ran off in search of a phone.

* * *

"What do you mean 'engaged!'" Akane couldn't believe that her father had done this, even though it might be the only way for her to get a boyfriend. She glared daggers at her stone-faced father. 

"I promised one of you to the son of a good friend of mine when you were all still young, before our trip," Soun responded. "If they don't mind our troubles, then I will expect whichever of you is chosen to uphold family honor and go through with the engagement." Soun's dead voice was the only thing that kept Akane from making him into paper there and then. It showed that he didn't think they would agree. And his only action other than speaking had been to pull at one side of his neatly trimmed mustache, which reached down past his chin. That usually wasn't a very good sign for him.

She looked at her sisters, neither of them seemed very happy about this either. Since their trip, most people had been scared off, afraid that the magic would spread. Their ability to have families pretty much went with them. Only Kasumi had managed to get a steady flow of boyfriends, but that was usually a guy hoping to get her into bed with the exception of a certain doctor. That was it for the three of them unless one wanted to include the Kunous or Akane's friend.

"Fine then," Nabiki said in a huff. "At least tell us what he's like." Soun's already unreadable face went rigid as the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Akane said, not believing for a second that any guy would pick her. She was out of the room before her father could object. She neared the phone as it rang a second time and nearly jumped out of her skin when an outraged cry pierced the house.

"**What do you mean** '**you have no idea**!'" Akane winced at that, trying to make Nabiki's shout stop echoing through her head. This was going to get real ugly, real fast. The phone rang a third time, and Akane picked it up.

"Hello?" Akane was glad her frustration did not show through her voice.

"Akane," a female voice asked. "You won't believe what Yuka and I just saw!" Akane sighed.

"What did you see Sayuri," Akane asked tiredly. She didn't feel like girl talk right now. Not when she could hear the sounds of the argument in the other room.

"We just saw a panda and a…" Akane sighed as she walked away from the phone. She most definitely did not have time for a circus right now. Not with this whole fiancé thing hanging over her head.

Akane returned to the dining room and leveled her worst glare at her father. He looked like he'd rather be anywhere than there. "If nothing else, can you at least tell us his name?" Soun perked up slightly, perhaps at having a question he could actually answer?

"His name is Saotome Ranma, and he is the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts," Soun said. He looked thoughtful for a second. "If I remember correctly, he should be about your age, Akane."

"It gets better for you Akane," Nabiki said, smiling her grade A evil smile, which could only mean she was now intending on trying to make money off her own family. Akane sighed as realization hit home. She was the heir to the Tendou School of Anything Goes.

"If the boy cannot make up his mind, and Genma insists despite our troubles, then the heirs will be married," Soun continued. "The entire arrangement was made with your mother there, so I expect you all to abide by it, no matter what choice is made." That clinched it. None of them were willing to go against something that their own mother had been a part of. There was no way Akane could willingly go against it now without tarnishing her mother's memory.

The phone started ringing as somebody knocked on the door. Akane sighed, resigned to her fate. "I'll get the door," she said. "Why don't you go answer the phone, Kasumi? I don't feel like talking with Yuka and Sayuri right now."

She walked from the room quickly, trying to rid herself of the bad feeling that was mounting in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she was going to her doom. She vaguely noted that Soun and Nabiki were down the hall behind her, quickly matching her pace. Akane reached the door and heard some sounds drift through the door.

"Put me down, ya' dang fool!" That was a girl's voice. Akane sighed; it wasn't Ranma. She opened the door as Soun and Nabiki pulled up behind her. And the sight that greeted her as the door swung open was comical at best.

Standing at the door was a large panda. Over its left shoulder, it had a large pack hanging off of it. On the other shoulder, the panda had a struggling redhead. The redhead was hitting it all over with her arms, fists, and elbows to no effect. And the panda held her legs tightly together with both forepaws. But most comical of all, the panda was somehow managing to look like a rat trapped in a corner and seemingly trying to put a look of great pride on its face all at the same time.

* * *

Soun stood behind his daughters, stunned, as the panda that stood at his door fidgeted, looking from one person to another. The person it was holding stopped struggling, apparently realizing that it wasn't helping. Kasumi entered the room and stopped, as stunned by the sight of the panda as the others. The panda's gaze dropped on Soun for a fourth time, and it suddenly rushed forward. 

Soun involuntarily took a step back as the panda suddenly plopped red down in front of him, immediately straightening back up. But Soun only had eyes for red. Something about red sparked something in his memory. "You wouldn't be..." he didn't finish as red spoke up.

"Saotome Ranma," red said, playing with the pigtail that was now clasped in front of her. Presently, Soun's fervent mind failed to acknowledge the 'her' part. "Sorry 'bout this."

Soun looked at for Ranma a moment. Then he grabbed Ranma up in a fierce hug with a cry. "At last you've come!" He held Ranma in the embrace until something odd about Ranma got his attention. Soun pulled back and he realized just what was unusual. On Ranma's chest were two bountiful organs that no man had any right to.

Nabiki walked around the panda and closely examined Ranma, poking the blushing girl in the chest several times before finishing. She then looked at Soun, something between an icy glare and annoyance on her face. "'He' is a girl," she deadpanned.

Soun took a moment to absorb this small fact. Then his world turned black.

* * *

Ranma watched as the drama unfolded before her. They had carried the guy with the mustache into a room that had been a dining room until the table was moved out and a futon moved in. The old guy, Mr. Tendou Ranma guessed, was now laying on the futon, tears streaming down his face like rivers. 

Ranma was kneeling at his side, a feeling of guilt causing her to pity the poor guy. He had been promised a man for his daughters, but instead he got a girl. The panda was sitting behind Ranma; could it be possible the idiot actually had feelings other than fear and hunger?

Either way, Ranma sat there, watching and feeling out of place as the eldest sister worked on aiding her father's recovery. She was wearing the sort of dress one would expect to see on the woman of the house… that thought made Ranma uncomfortable... but she also wore a rather thick sash on her waist. Her hair was held back into a ponytail that came over her shoulder. She seemed distracted to Ranma's eye.

The middle sister, the one who had poked Ranma's chest, was leaning against the wall next to the door to the kitchen. She wore revealing clothes that made Ranma want to blush and had short, brown hair cropped just over her shoulders. She was constantly clicking a pen that she held in her hand, and it was starting to grate on Ranma's nerves.

And then there was the third girl. She wore an oversized gi and had long bluish-black hair tied into a ponytail in a somewhat boyish manner. She sat next to Ranma, fidgeting nervously. She seemed to be on the edge of tears. Why, Ranma had no idea. All she knew was that she wanted to do something, anything, to help her. But not knowing what to do, Ranma elected to just sit and watch the unhappy girl.

The girl looked up at Ranma, a look of sudden determination on her face. "Ranma," she said uncertainly, betraying her own inner turmoil to Ranma. "My name is Akane... Could you come with me?" Ranma took only a moment to think about this. Stay here with crying man and pen clicker, or follow Akane and possibly find out what was going on here. She got up quickly and followed Akane out of the room, towards the dojo.

They paused as they reached the door leading outside, and Ranma grimaced. It was still raining softly.

* * *

Nabiki stood watch over her shocked father and the unhappy panda as she waited for something to happen. She didn't care what, just for something to happen. Akane and Ranma had just left, and Nabiki suspected it had something to do with Akane's curse and Ranma's identity. She briefly wondered how Ranma would handle it... 

And why the panda kept giving her such human-like impressions... It was now looking down at Soun with a sad look about it that suggested guilt to Nabiki's practiced eye.

Nabiki noticed Kasumi enter the room with a huge gi big enough for the panda to wear, and cocked her eyebrow. The other eyebrow went up when a second Kasumi entered with a steaming kettle held with thick gloves. The one with the gi, Kasumi 1, approached the panda directly as the other, Kasumi 2, snuck around behind it as her twin distracted it.

"Mr. Panda," Kasumi 1 said politely. "Could you please wear this?" Kasumi 2 crept up until she was directly behind the panda as it absently slid the gi on, still looking at Soun sadly.

Nabiki briefly wondered what Kasumi was up to, but gave up. Trying to figure out the agenda of a person with two bodies was like trying to move that unmovable object that those physics people always seemed to be talking about.

Then everything started happening at once. Kasumi 2 poured the kettle's contents onto the panda. "Rrrr," it attempted to bellow out in pain. Nabiki noted that none of the water was hitting the ground as the shifting form attempted to throw it off. Instead it was evaporating in midair. "Oh, **oh**! **Hot**!"

Nabiki stared at the panda turned man. He was about three-fourths of his former size and every inch of his visible skin was red from the hot water. Soun abruptly sat up and stared at the man. The man, on the other hand, was looking between the two Kasumis, having retrieved a pair of horn rimmed glasses from somewhere. "Tendou," he started. "Since when does your oldest daughter have a twin?"

Soun ignored the question, instead just staring at the strange man. "**What is the meaning of this, Saotome**!" Nabiki sighed. Her father had gone into his rare demon-head mode, and the other man was now cowering in the corner. She noted he had found a white bandanna from somewhere to cover his bald head.

Nabiki blink-blinked. Did Soun call the man Saotome? "Okay," she interrupted before Soun could descend any further on his hapless victim. "Could someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?"

"That call I went to answer for Akane was Yuka and Sayuri," both Kasumis spoke at once. "They said that they had seen a red-head and a panda fighting their way to the dojo. They also said the two had been using the Anything Goes method." Soun, his head back to normal proportions, made to interrupt, but one of the Kasumis (Nabiki had lost track) placed a hand over his mouth, effectively silencing him. Nabiki looked over at Saotome to find that he had been hog-tied with several pairs of socks. Nabiki grinned. Kasumi was no slouch at Martial Arts Housekeeping.

"So finish your story already," Nabiki urged her sister. She had already realized what was happening. Thus she had no need for Kasumi to continue, but she wanted Kasumi to do so anyway. She liked to see Soun squirm whenever somebody managed to get the upper hand on him like this. He deserved every moment of such treatment for taking them to that cursed place. Plus, for it to be Kasumi, the stand-back-and-don't-interrupt housewife type, it became all the more enjoyable for Nabiki. Kasumi just never did this sort of thing. Maybe it was because of the engagement thing...

"Well, I put what they told me together with the fact that the Saotomes were coming from China..." The two Kasumis were still speaking in unison. "...And with the girl's name being Ranma..." That's when the full implications of the situation hit Nabiki.

"Jusenkyou..." Nabiki whispered. "So Ranma isn't really a..." Nabiki trailed off as Mr. Saotome started nodding vigorously. Nabiki smiled. Ranma and Akane were made for each other.

Nabiki frowned. She hoped Ranma wouldn't be scared off by Akane's curse like the other boys had. It would be a shame if the two of them didn't get together... They had equal and opposite curses after all.

Nabiki smiled evilly. Things were about to get very interesting.

* * *

Akane stopped at the door leading outside, and thus to the dojo. It was still raining. She grabbed a blue umbrella from a nearby rack and opened it as she walked out into the rain. 

She turned to Ranma, who was standing there watching Akane. "Well, are you coming?" A startled look passed over Ranma's face before realization dawned, and the redhead stepped under the umbrella with Akane.

They walked to the dojo together, giving Akane a chance to look Ranma over. She was shorter than Akane, and had her hair done in a pigtail in the back. Her garments consisted of baggy black pants and a red top, both of Chinese make. Akane shivered unconsciously at the memories that surfaced with that last thought, but she brought herself back to the situation at hand as they entered the dojo.

Putting down the umbrella, Akane summoned up her courage and turned to ask Ranma the question that would decide everything. "So, Ranma, do you intend to hold my family to our parents' promise?"

Ranma visibly jumped. "Umm... no, not really..." Akane breathed a sigh of relief, and Ranma continued. "But I don't think Pops is gonna give me a choice." Akane looked at Ranma in astonishment.

"You mean your dad would..." She didn't get to finish as the other girl broke in.

"Well, if he engaged me to a boy," Ranma said angrily. "Then I'd kill him." Akane saw her clench her fist so tight that the knuckles turned white.

"So," Akane said slowly, suddenly unsure of herself. "You would be okay being engaged to me?" Akane looked down to hide her embarrassment. She hadn't meant it to come out like that, but it had anyway.

She realized that she was putting off telling Ranma about her curse. But how could she tell Ranma about it without freaking the redhead out?

"Umm... I'd be... ummm..." the redhead trailed off. Akane looked up at her to see that she was blushing. She also had the look of someone who was not used to thinking trying to do just that. "Umm... I dunno." She made motions with her hands as if trying to grab the right thing to say right out of the air. Akane decided to wait patiently for Ranma's answer as she considered how to tell Ranma about her curse.

Finally, Ranma heaved with a great sigh. "Well, I guess I'd be okay with it if you were..." Akane smiled ruefully at Ranma, causing her to trail off.

Akane didn't want to do this. But she was the only one who could possibly produce the heir their parents would probably want out of the marriage. And she didn't want either of her sisters to marry a girl...

* * *

Ranma watched Akane, unaware of the magnitude of the decision the larger girl was trying to make. She knew that Akane was up to something with her questions, but just what exactly; Ranma had no idea. So she just stood there, wondering idly what Akane was thinking. 

Eventually, Akane spoke. "Ranma, could you promise me something?" Ranma suddenly had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Uhh, yeah, I guess," she said, suddenly sure that she knew where Akane was taking this.

"Promise me that you'll pick me if it comes down to it." There it was. Akane wanted Ranma to pick her over her sisters. From the look of it, Akane didn't make this decision lightly. She obviously wanted this whole engagement thing about as much as Ranma did.

Akane had put her in a tough spot, but Ranma had already given her word. She nodded, unable to verbally agree. Akane nodded back, seeming to understand.

Suddenly finding the tension in the room unbearable, Ranma decided to switch subjects. "So, you're the heir to the dojo, right?" Akane seemed startled by Ranma's words.

"Yeah," she said guardedly. "How did you figure out?"

"Well, you're the only one who seemed to carry themselves like a martial artist..." Ranma trailed off as she thought about that a little. "But your oldest sister was an enigma to me. Her stance shouts fighter, but her personality screams housewife. That seems odd if you ask me." Akane was looking at Ranma with a disbelieving look. "What!"

"Most people don't notice Kasumi. She practices Martial Arts Housekeeping. It's pretty obscure, and hard to notice, but you're right." Akane seemed thoughtful at this. "Wait, you want to spar, don't you?" Glad to have a distraction, Ranma nodded her head quickly.

Jumping to a point past the center of the dojo, Ranma got into a ready stance. She noticed Akane was quickly ready on the other side of the center, and smiled. Akane seemed to be good if the way she carried herself was any indication, but not too good. And Ranma didn't hit girls. What should she do?

The answer was simple. Ranma had practically asked for this, all she could do was actually spar. But, she resolved herself, not on the same level as she would against Genma. Akane might possibly be good, but Ranma wasn't sure how good. A warm up match would be enough to find out.

Akane rushed in, and Ranma dodged to the left. She twisted down and around as Akane sailed past, having put just a little too much weight behind the charge, and effectively knocked the girl off her feet when she came to a stop with a leg sweep. Ranma was forced to roll away as Akane brought an elbow down where Ranma's head had been moments before. The force of the swing caused Akane to twist around and land on her hands, and she pushed herself back all the way to standing with a single shove.

Ranma realized that she wasn't giving Akane enough credit when the larger girl's stance tightened up and she charged with a better thought out roundhouse kick, which Ranma jumped back from. Akane was better than most of the people whom Ranma had met during her travels. But then again, Ranma found she was having difficulty maintaining any sort of pattern.

She blamed that problem on the fact that Akane was a girl, rather than a boy. Ranma just didn't fight girls. Even being a girl, Ranma still didn't like to fight girls. It was one of the few good things her father had imprinted on her, at least as far as Ranma was concerned. She noticed Akane seemed to be getting angry about something, and decided to finish the fight.

Jumping clear of a punch that Akane drove into the wall behind her, Ranma rebounded off the wall and somersaulted over Akane's head. She landed without a sound behind the other girl and, when Akane seemed to be having trouble figuring out what had happened, tapped her on the shoulder. Both of them started laughing nervously.

Akane was the first to stop. "Wow," she said, sighing slightly. "You're pretty good."

"I would suppose so," Ranma replied after a little thought. "But you're no slouch either." Ranma grinned at a blinking Akane. Then she realized that Akane could be slightly better if not for the oversized gi she was wearing.

"So why do you wear such a big gi?" Ranma stared as Akane froze at her question, but finished her thought anyway. "Ummm... You'd probably be better if it fit you, and I don't see any reason why you'd need it that big."

* * *

The two Kasumis carried a tied up Genma into the guest room and dropped him on the floor. One of them bent down and took out the sock gag in his mouth. Instantly, he began blabbering. 

"I didn't do it... Ummm... The guy across the street there did it..." He went on like this for a minute or so as the drug Kasumi had given him took effect. It was meant to make it impossible for one to lie for a short while, but as a side effect, it often caused its victim to become temporarily delirious first. She silently thanked Dr. Tofu and her... unorthodox friend... for the materials she had needed to make it.

When Genma finally quit babbling, Kasumi bent down and looked him in the eyes. "Okay," she said, preparing herself for the interrogation. "Why did you go to Jusenkyou?"

Genma looked back at her dully. "It was supposed to be a great training place for fighters..." He stopped momentarily, as the drug's effects kicked in more fully. "I wanted to train Ranma there." That was virtually the same reason her father had used for taking them there.

"Why did you want to train Ranma there?"

"To fulfill a promise..."

"What promise?"

"To make Ranma a man amongst men." A look of absolute terror crossed over Genma's face, and Kasumi decided to move on.

"Did you have any other reasons for going to Jusenkyou?"

"No." That was different. Soun had taken them to Jusenkyou to find some solitude as well as to train with Akane.

"Did you know of Jusenkyou's magic?"

"No." Tears started flowing from Genma's eyes. He was resisting the drug.

"Could you read or speak Chinese?"

"...No." Kasumi looked at her twin. None of them had known enough Chinese to understand the warnings outside of Jusenkyou.

"Have you looked for a way to remove a Jusenkyou curse?"

"Yes."

"What did you find?"

"According to the Guide, there is no way to remove a Jusenkyou curse." Kasumi steeled herself to ask the most important question of all.

"Do you intend to have Ranma follow through with the engagement?"

"Yes." Genma started sobbing. That meant that the third and final effect of the drug was beginning to take effect.

Genma was becoming unstable emotionally. Kasumi recalled a similar incident with her own father. He had already become unstable from the death of Kasumi's mother and their curses, and the drug had turned him into a quivering mass for a few days. The drug's third effect was supposed to pass within a couple of hours, but with someone who was already unstable emotionally, its effect was compounded and could thus last for days on end.

Noticing that Genma was staring at her with a small amount of horror, Kasumi smiled. "Don't worry Uncle Genma," she said jovially. "We won't hurt you."

Genma's eyes widened considerably as he started blabbering, and Kasumi realized that in his current state, he might have taken that as a form of torture. She decided that keeping him tied up any longer than a day with that idea would be cruel. So the punishment her father had been put through was out of the question.

Putting the rolled up sock back in Genma's mouth, Kasumi decided that one day of being tied up and fed by baby bottle with that idea would easily outdo the three days her father had gone through without fearing for his life. One Kasumi left the room to go wait for Ranma and Akane to return from wherever they had gone; and the other went to watch the door.

* * *

Akane froze. Ranma had asked her a question she couldn't possibly answer without letting Ranma know about her curse. Akane knew she would have to tell Ranma sometime, but couldn't figure out how. It was beginning to frustrate her, and that had shown during the sparring match. 

Akane paused as she realized something. She was being handed a chance to tell Ranma right here, right now, with no one to interrupt. She hadn't had that chance with others. She walked to the door of the dojo, and opened it without getting the umbrella. She looked out into the rain as she started speaking.

"There is a reason for my gi being so big, Ranma," Akane said softly. She felt like she was going to cry. "I have a curse... After my mother died, my family went to China seeking a place to find a little solitude. But the place we found... it was full of magical springs..."

"Akane..." Akane held up a hand behind her to shush Ranma before she could try to say anything.

"Don't interrupt, Ranma." Akane could feel the tears coming, but not yet flowing. "This is hard enough as is." She took a breath to compose herself and continued looking out into the rain. "Anyone who falls into one of those springs takes on the form of whatever drowned there whenever they get splashed with cold water." Akane took another shaky breath as she heard Ranma walking towards her. Akane continued with her story.

"Everybody in my family fell into a spring..." Akane stepped out into the rain, and instantly the change swept over her. She grew a few inches and her shoulders broadened. Her chest flattened out as other changes happened elsewhere. After the change had finished, Akane knew that the gi was filled out quite well. It was sized to fit this form instead of Akane's real form. Akane turned around to see a stunned Ranma standing there, her hand held out towards Akane. Akane could now feel the tears flowing despite the rain that also trailed down her new face.

"I fell into the Spring of Drowned Man, Ranma," Akane said in a deeper voice than earlier, and with a sad tone. "…Call me Kaneda in this form."

* * *

Ranma stared at Akane, or rather, Kaneda. Akane had been to the same place she had. And not only that, but Akane had fallen into one of the springs as well. The exact opposite to Ranma's own, in fact. 

Akane had changed before Ranma's eyes into a man a full head taller than she had been before. His eyes were a slightly darker shade of brown than they had been as a girl.

"If you don't want to follow the agreement we made before the sparring match," Kaneda said turning back out to the rain. "I'll understand, and I won't hold you to your promise." With that said, he left the dojo. Ranma found herself feeling like a five-year-old caught stealing a cookie.

She had just had a chance to tell the only friend she had here about her curse. Akane had probably meant to tell Ranma from the beginning, but Ranma had intended to try to hide hers until she at least got to know the Tendous a little.

But when Akane had told her about her curse, Ranma had felt like a great big heel. Akane had the courage to tell someone she didn't even know about her curse, but Ranma didn't. She suddenly felt as if she deserved her curse.

She had to tell Akane. Akane deserved to know at the very least. A trust had formed between the two as they had talked before the match... enough of a trust for Akane to tell Ranma about her curse. And Ranma was betraying that trust by not telling Akane about her curse.

"I have to tell her..." Ranma said without realizing it. Head hanging low, she left the dojo to go find Akane.

* * *

Nabiki sighed as she turned off her monitor. She had witnessed the entire confrontation between Akane and Ranma. And she had to say, if she were in Ranma's shoes right now, she would probably die from shame. 

Which was probably the very reason Ranma had resolved to tell Akane about his curse.

Nabiki felt a wicked smile form on her face. She liked to stir things up, and here was a chance to stir things up in such a way that she would be entertained by the results for endless days.

She faintly recalled the ancient Confucian style curse her family, most notably Soun and Akane, had picked up during their trip to China.

'May you live in interesting times, indeed.'

* * *

Kasumi waited idly for Ranma and Akane to enter the house. She thought that Ranma and Akane would probably hit it off quite well once they got past any uncertainties their curses caused. Of course, there still was the discomfort caused by being engaged by one's parents. 

But when Kaneda entered the house alone and soaking wet, Kasumi assumed the worst. Ranma thought the same way about Akane's curse as the others all did. Despite having the exact opposite curse to Akane's, Ranma was still thrown off by it.

Kasumi led Kaneda to the bathroom, where she had prepared a bath for Ranma. She had noticed the boy-turned-girl needed a bath when she had seen a smear on her front. But now Kaneda was getting the bath. She'd just have to prepare another for Ranma later.

Kasumi left Kaneda in the changing room and went to find her father. She found him crying rivers in his cursed form in front of her mother's shrine. This caused Kasumi to giggle slightly. The sight of a gorilla wearing a brown suit and bawling his eyes out was just too funny!

She came up behind the ape, retrieving an odd pair of gloves from a desk nearby. He didn't notice her until she was standing right behind him. He turned around as she held out the strange, mechanical gloves.

"Oo ooooooo..." He took the gloves and slid them onto his large hands. He started making motions with his arms and hands, and an electronic voice sounded from the gloves.

"Is something wrong Kasumi?" He stopped signing and put his huge hands on his knees. She sighed.

"I don't think that Ranma took Akane's curse too well." Soun's gorilla face looked quite menacing as he frowned. "Kaneda came in alone, crying."

Soun started bawling again, this time signing his concerns. "They're perfect for each other, can't they see? Oh, how will this father ever make this family work out? I'm a failure as a man and a father…" He continued like this for a while, Kasumi not being strong enough to stop him if she tried. Finally, Soun stopped crying and signed rationally. "Now that we know that Ranma is truly a man, and that Saotome is expecting us to follow through with our part, I expect you and your sisters to do so."

"Yes, father," Kasumi said resignedly. She didn't want to be engaged to Ranma... She already had someone she wanted to get together with.

* * *

Nabiki caught Ranma as she entered the house. "Why so glum, girl?" Ranma winced at the term, causing Nabiki to smile. She enjoyed toying with people when they deserved it. 

"I need to talk to Akane... Kaneda... some more..." the soaked redhead responded guardedly. "Why?" Nabiki frowned. Ranma was still insisting on hiding his curse from Nabiki.

"Does this have anything to do with _your_ curse, Ranma," Nabiki leveled a hard look at the unfortunate girl. A disbelieving look crossed Ranma's face.

"How did you...?"

"I'm not at liberty to tell you that without a little compensation, first."

"Fine," Ranma said unhappily. "Could you at least tell me where Akane went?"

Nabiki smiled evilly. Now her plan went into effect. "I don't think she came back to the house," Nabiki said, bending the truth. Akane hadn't returned, Kaneda had. "But I think you need a bath before you try talking to her again. Kasumi got one ready for you while you were talking with Akane." Nabiki knew that Akane was in that bath right now. She had taken the liberty of hiding Kaneda's clothes after he had gone into the bathroom itself.

Nabiki began leading Ranma to the changing room. Then she thought of something and grinned. "Do you have an alternate identity for your cursed form, Ranma?"

"No, why?"

"Well, let me just say that there are some nuts around here who probably wouldn't take it too well if you used the same identity in both forms... That's your freebie for the week."

"Okay..." Nabiki stopped to look at Ranma as the redhead thought. "Well, I guess Ranko would work. I could be my own half-sister." Nabiki liked the sound of that. She wouldn't have to work at all for that to cause a little trouble.

"Hmmm... Ranko..." Nabiki pretended to consider it. Letting a grin slip onto her face, she spoke. "Sounds good to me. Try thinking about yourself as Ranko whenever you're in that form." She turned around and pointed at a door. "The changing room is through there, it should be empty." Leaving the redhead to her own devices, Nabiki headed off to retrieve a small video camera from her room. She'd want a video of what was about to happen.

* * *

Ranko shucked her wet clothes slowly, thinking too deeply to really pay attention. She needed to tell Akane about her curse soon. The longer she waited, the more her resolve on the matter crumbled. 

She tossed her clothes into the bin by the door and grabbed a spare towel. She wrapped it loosely around her waist as she opened the door...

And she found herself staring at Kaneda as he washed himself off. He was blushing fiercely as Ranko tried to get her body to respond to her to no avail. All she managed to do was slowly turn her head to the ground, blushing as deeply as Kaneda.

Hadn't Akane's sister said that he hadn't come in? Yeah, she had said _Akane_ hadn't come in. But she'd said nothing about Kaneda.

Kaneda spoke up. "Ummm... Ranma... What are you doing in here?" Ranko's mouth worked as she tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to her. Eventually, unable to find anything to say, she just stood there staring at the floor as her embarrassment, and thus her blush, deepened.

She noticed Kaneda step up to her, a towel wrapped around his midsection. He grabbed her shoulders and promptly turned her around. Ranko was now facing the door.

"If you don't have a good reason for being in here..." Ranko heard Kaneda say angrily from behind her. "...Then stay **out**!" Ranko suddenly found herself flying through the doorway to the changing room, through the changing room, through the door leading to the hallway, through the hallway, and into the wall. She heard the door to the bathroom slam shut.

Her head now firmly embedded in the wall, Ranko wondered if she'd been set up. She decided not to worry about it, as she needed to get some air from somewhere. She started pushing on the wall with her arms and legs, trying to extract her head.

She froze when she felt someone unwrap her towel and pull it up on her. They then retied it so that the towel covered her whole torso. Moments later, Ranko felt a second towel being wrapped tightly around her waist.

After a couple of seconds, Ranko continued trying to escape from the wall with a renewed vigor. When she finally did get free, whoever had... redressed her... was gone. She shivered uncomfortably.

* * *

Kaneda sighed as he slipped into the hot water within the bathtub and felt the change come over him. She couldn't believe Ranma had walked in on her, the pervert. And with only a towel around her waist! Akane just couldn't believe it! 

After throwing Ranma out, Kaneda had gone out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He had rewrapped Ranma's towel so that it covered her assets, but then, with Ranma also using her legs to push against the wall, it hadn't covered her up well enough down there. So he had fetched another towel and wrapped it tightly around Ranma's waist, covering the redhead's lower half.

Kaneda had returned to the bathroom and finished soaping off after that.

Akane heard a knock at the bathroom door, accompanied by a voice. "Kaneda?" Akane sighed, it hadn't taken Ranma long to get free.

"What do you want, Ranma?" She heard some shuffling from just outside the door.

"Ummm... I have something I need to tell ya'..." The shuffling got louder. "Ummm... could ya' put a towel on?"

"Are you going to apologize?" A gagging sound came from behind the door.

"For walking in on a guy? No!" Ranma exclaimed. She then continued more softly. "But once I show ya' what I wanna show ya', I think you'll understand why not."

Just the slightest bit curious, Akane got out of the bath and put a towel around herself. "Okay, I'm decent." Ranma opened the door and stepped in, still wrapped in both towels Akane had put around her. "So what did you want to tell me, Ranma?"

Ranma walked over to the bathtub and looked down at the water before speaking. "When I'm like this, call me Ranko." Akane started, surely Ranma... Ranko... wasn't suggesting... "I have a curse like yours, only..." Ranko stepped into the hot water in the tub, removing the top towel as she went.

Akane watched as Ranko's form shifted, changing into a boy a full head taller than Ranko had been. Her bright red hair turned jet black as her shoulders broadened. Akane couldn't tell, but she had the feeling that other changes were taking place. Ranma turned around and got out of the tub, and Akane saw that Ranko's features had hardened and her eyes had turned a deeper blue, almost turning storm-gray.

"...I fell into the Spring of Drowned Girl," Ranma continued. Akane let him, too speechless to object. "When I first got here, I had hoped to hide my real identity until I got to know ya' all some. But when ya' told me about your curse, it made me feel guilty, and I had to tell ya'." Akane finally got her voice back, but instead of yelling at Ranma, she just started laughing. Ranma sputtered. "Hey, what's so funny!"

Akane laughed for a few more moments until she realized Ranma was looking at her like one might a candidate for the loony bin. "Nothing's funny," Akane said, grinning madly. "It's just that, well... since you got here, it was like I was the only one eligible for the marriage because you were a girl..." Ranma huffed.

"I was not a girl..." He failed to finish as Akane started laughing again.

"Oh," she managed. "So I suppose all guys have a pair of these on their chests..." She pointed at her chest and Ranma blushed, causing her to erupt into another bout of laughter. As she laughed, she could feel a lot of tension draining out of her body. She had been tense since learning of the engagement. And while that was still there, the tension that had built up in her since Ranma's arrival was leaving her.

Suddenly, Akane sobered up. There was a guy, with her, in the bathroom. She blushed deeply and grabbed Ranma's hand. His mouth opened to say something as Akane pulled him so that he was moving towards the door. She rushed behind him and pushed him the rest of the way out the door. She shut the door before descending into yet more laughter. Through the door, Ranma tried speaking again.

"What'd ya' do that for?" Akane stopped laughing, and thought about that. She sat with her back against the door.

"Because there was a boy in the bathroom with me." She started giggling before Ranma's baffled reply came through the door.

"Well, you're a boy part of the time, too." Akane stopped giggling at that. "And, ya' know, I'm a girl part of the time, too, so it ain't like ya' haven't got anything I haven't seen before." Akane felt her temper threatening, but she willed it back. She felt a weight settle against the other side of the door and was thankful when Ranma decided to change subjects.

"So," his muffled voice came through the door. "What does everybody around here change into anyway?"

"Well," Akane said, thinking about which she should tell Ranma and which he should find out for himself. "Kasumi turns into a pair of twins, and Dad into a gorilla." She laughed at that momentarily. "You'll have to catch Nabiki in the middle of her transformation if you want to know hers. She tries to keep it on a need to know basis, and she keeps a large supply of Instant Spring of Drowned Girl coming in, so simply splashing her doesn't tell you."

"Instant Spring?" His bafflement came through the door. "What do ya' mean Instant Spring?"

"The Instant Spring covers up your curse for one dunking in the water," Akane said. "And Nabiki won't tell us where it comes from. She won't even _sell_ us any!" Akane frowned. Aside from her habit of charging outrageous amounts for information, one of Nabiki's major faults was her love of secrets. It had caused Akane problems more than once.

"And here I thought she seemed nice," Ranma said. His weight disappeared from the other side of the door. "Oh well. I told ya' what I had to, and it was nice talking with ya', Akane, but I really gotta go talk to Pops 'bout something." The sound of cracking knuckles came from the other side of the door.

Akane grinned. If Mr. Saotome were getting anything like her father had, then he wouldn't be seen for a while...

"Hey, Ranma?"

"Yeah, what do ya' want?"

"What does your father turn into?"

"Remember the panda?" His tone was flat.

"Oh."

* * *

Kasumi found Ranma as he left the changing room. He was wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, and he had a large bump on his head. 

"Ranma?" He looked at her.

"How did you...?"

"Who else might have followed Akane into the bathroom?" He blushed as a voice issued forth from the bathroom.

"It wasn't like that Kasumi," Akane called. "He wanted to tell me about his curse."

"Well, that wasn't what I was implying, but okay," Kasumi smiled as Ranma blushed even deeper. She had the feeling that Akane was probably the same shade of red. "But Ranma, you really shouldn't walk around in only a towel." Ranma turned the color of a ripe apple.

"Hey, I would 'a got dressed if I could 'a," he said unhappily. A light entered his eyes and he grinned slightly. "But macho chick in there threw me through the door here and there's no place for me to get dressed until she leaves."

"Daddy said he wanted everyone to come to the family room," Kasumi broke in before Akane could retort. "Nabiki and Daddy are already waiting for us. And Ranma?"

"Yeah?"

"Follow me," Kasumi said. "You can change in my room."

Ranma scowled. "Fine, but only 'cause I don't feel comfortable standing around in a towel." Kasumi sighed before turning around and heading for the stairs.

Kasumi led the scowling Ranma up the stairs and to her room. She caught him glancing at her twin as he entered it. She closed the door and smiled at her twin, who was guarding the door to the room that Genma was in.

"Ranma is such as nice boy," she said. "And really cute, too."

"I know," her twin replied, smiling. "Nabiki came up and got her video recorder a short while ago. I think he was tricked into following Akane into the bathroom."

Ranma came out of Kasumi's room before she could respond and looked between the two Kasumis. Focusing on one, he asked a question. "Okay, just curious, but what's it like having a twin? I mean, you know what it's like from both sides…" Both Kasumis smiled sadly as he trailed off, poking his fingers together and blushing.

"We wouldn't know, Ranma," both replied at once. "Both of us are still connected to the same mind, and she controls both of... well... us." Kasumi decided not to tell him that both twins did indeed have a separate mind, though.

"Oh." A confused look passed over his face. Currently having four eyes focused on him, Kasumi's greater self didn't have trouble figuring out what he was confused about.

"Don't try thinking about it, Ranma," both Kasumis said. "It hurts our heads, too." He walked off, an even more confused look on his face.

Kasumi followed him, smiling, as her twin continued watching the door that Genma was behind.

* * *

Ranma entered the family room hesitantly. Something about this just screamed trap to him, and he didn't like it. The fact that he had just received two very big shocks in the past hour didn't help him any. 

He noticed a large gorilla sitting in the middle of the room, wearing the cloths Mr. Tendou had been wearing earlier, but he remembered that Akane had said Soun turned into a gorilla and said nothing about it. Akane and Nabiki were kneeling to either side of him.

Akane was now dressed in an oddly fitting pair of slacks and an elastic pink top. Her long hair flowed to the ground in a way that caught Ranma's eye. He decided he liked the color of it and tore his eyes away.

Ranma sat down in front of the gorilla. "Can ya' talk like that Mr. Tendou?" He was surprised when Soun held up his enormous hands to show Ranma a pair of mechanical gloves. He started making quick motions with them, and a buzzing voice broke from the gloves.

"As you are well aware, Ranma," the voice spoke as Ranma watched Soun make hand motions disbelievingly. The feeling of being led into a trap had just increased tenfold. "Your father and I promised each other that one day, he and I would join our two families together. To fulfill this promise, you have been brought here to take the hand of one of my daughters in marriage." Ranma noticed the grimaces that crept onto the girls' faces, and felt one crawl onto his own face. The gorilla didn't take this too well.

Ranma suddenly found himself faced with a monstrous apparition. Its monstrous black head was definitely demonic in origin, but its body seemed oddly familiar. Ranma also found he was pinned into the corner by fear.

"**Gaaaahhhh**!"

"**You will fulfill the promise your father and I made, or else**!" Ranma didn't fail to notice that the odd voice had also taken on a demonic tone.

The gorilla turned around, its head shrinking back to normal proportions as it started crying on one of its oldest daughters two halves. Akane rushed forward and whispered into Ranma's ear. "No, Dad is not a demon. You just encountered his demon-head technique... Avoid it whenever you can..." She returned to her spot as the gorilla turned back around. Ranma cautiously moved back to where he'd been sitting.

"Look," he motioned. "You get to choose which of my daughters you will marry. Though I think that you already know their names, allow me to introduce them properly."

"Akane, age 16, heir to the Tendou School of Anything Goes Martial Arts... turns into a man," he motioned, standing behind Akane. Akane blushed and turned her head down. Ranma knew why. They'd already agreed he'd pick her.

"Nabiki, age 17, family financer, turns into..." Ranma winced as a long, high-pitched noise sounded over the glove's voice. When it stopped, Nabiki turned to her father and spoke.

"He only gets to know that if he picks me, Daddy." Rubbing his ears, Soun moved to stand behind his eldest daughter. From there, he briefly threw Nabiki a dirty look only a gorilla could give as she put the foghorn back whereever it was she had got it from.

"Kasumi, age 19, keeper of this household, turns into a pair of twins." Kasumi smiled a semi-serene smile. Ranma didn't think she was comfortable with this at all. "Choose now boy, or the choice goes to the default that your mothers set up."

Ranma, bound by his promise to Akane, didn't even think about it. "I'll... I'll take Akane." He gave her a wry smile that she returned. Nabiki howled happily.

"You two'll make the cutest couple!" Both blushed deeply at Nabiki's exclamation as she smiled impishly. "Or should I say couples?" Ranma's face simply turned redder, and he didn't bother glancing at Akane this time. Kasumi just smiled in what Ranma thought to be relief, but he didn't know why.

"I'm glad that you like Akane enough to pick her despite her curse," Kasumi smiled at Ranma as he felt his blush manage another shade or two. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and immediately wished he hadn't. His face was beet red. He toed the ground before replying.

"Well, firstly, we made an agreement in the dojo..." He stopped as something impacted on his head.

"**Idiot**! I thought I told you I wouldn't hold you to that after I told you about my curse!" Ranma pried himself from under the table that had come out of nowhere.

"...And I also figured it wouldn't be very manly if I judged her by her curse," he finished. "Especially seeing as to how I got the exact opposite..." He came to a standing position and roughly teetered before walking over to the wall.

It had been obvious to Ranma that Akane had a short temper. The damage to the door to the changing room was proof of that. But he hadn't realized just how short it was.

"Can ya' let me finish my sentences, ya' crazy tomboy!" The fire that flared in her eyes as he said that told him about his error seconds before her hand and voice did.

"**Jerk**!" Her open palm was slammed against the side of his face. "**Pervert**!" Backhand to the other side. Ranma slouched to the ground as darkness threatened to overcome him. It had just become painfully obvious that Akane's temper also had the effect of, aside from just making her violent, focusing her strength to a point that Ranma would be happy never to see again. He had the feeling that that would not be the case.

His world turned to darkness as several figures loomed over him and a voice spoke out. "I'd say he deserved that."

* * *

Akane left the room in a huff. How could Ranma be so mean as to call her a tomboy? It was a favorite battle taunt of a close friend of hers, and she absolutely hated being called that. And the other part of the insult hadn't helped either. But at least he hadn't called her a sex-changing freak like most the boys had. 

She headed towards the dojo. It had stopped raining, so she could finish her workout in relative peace... if she could focus on it anyway.

Akane sighed as she set up some practice dummies. She'd need another bath later tonight.

* * *

Saotome Genma struggled against the bonds he was tied with. He couldn't see what they were made of, but they didn't seem to be very strong. That wouldn't have been a problem if they hadn't been tied on in layers. Unfortunately, that also prevented him from squirming out of the bonds. 

He had no idea what Kasumi intended to do to him, but he had no intention of finding out. He wished his son luck in escaping the hellhole that he had forced on the poor boy, and continued working to escape his bonds.

Ranma. The thought of his son in trouble sent Genma into a bout of crying without warning. He lie there for a few minutes, sobbing uncontrollably. His son was now half woman. There was no way Genma could possibly fulfill the promise he had made to his wife.

Genma started trembling. There was no way that she could ever see Genma now. If she did, then she would most certainly want to see Ranma. And with his curse, she would force them to commit seppuku. Genma's trembling increased as he thought, and tears started flowing freely from his eyes.

If Nodoka were to ever find out, Genma would make sure he was long gone.

But first, he had to survive Kasumi. Surely Ranma would find him sooner or later. He would rescue his father from this demon family his friend had spawned. Upon seeing Genma tied up on the floor, Ranma would realize that the Tendous were evil, and he would take his loyal father and flee.

But what would Nodoka think of running from a house full of demons? Genma's emotionally ravaged mind raced. She would surely kill him herself for such a transgression. He might as well kill himself now.

To make such worse, he had been intent on leaving without his son only moments before. Death would be too good for him if he allowed his son to be taken in by demons.

Genma's sobs increased as he heard voices outside the room. That Kasumi demon was trying to stop his son from rescuing him. He could hear both of their voices, but why did Ranma sound so unconcerned?

Genma's sobs grew even louder as he realized that his son was being manipulated by the demon. She was fooling him into thinking that Genma was in here of his own free will. Ranma would surely see through such a deception, wouldn't he?

Genma worries increased as, instead of Ranma, Soun entered. Genma cried. Soun was surely possessed by a demon to allow such mistreatment of his old friend. Why couldn't Genma catch any breaks in life? And what had become of Ranma?

Soun kneeled down in front of Genma before speaking. "Genma, old friend," he removed the gag in Genma's mouth as he spoke, allowing the martial artist to see that it was little more than a sock. "It has been a long time."

"You've raised a house of demons," Genma said angrily. "That is the only explanation for this sort of treatment. You must be a demon possessing my old friend. Stop with the delaying and just torture me already. I can take anything you can dish out." Genma stopped goading the demon and glared. Demon-Soun looked back sadly.

"I'm a demon am I?" He seemed on the verge of tears... no demon would ever allow itself to look like that... would it? Yes, it would, to trick him and prolong his torture. "And my family is full of demons? I came here to tell you our tale, but now I see that you won't listen. So I'll just tell you this... I went through the same thing you are being put through after we returned here from Jusenkyou." He replaced the gag in Genma's mouth.

Demon-Soun left with that, leaving Genma feeling like a great big ass. But that was okay. After all, the demons were now trying to trick him. Whether as torture or to turn him, he didn't care. He vowed to himself that they would never fool him.

* * *

Ranma, or rather Ranko, came to a long while after Akane had put him out cold. She could tell by the fact that it was dark out now. Her face was also quite numb for some odd reason. 

She sat up to find Kasumi kneeling next to her.

"Oh," she said thoughtfully. "You're finally awake." Ranko seemed to be in one of the girls' rooms.

"Shuurr," Ranko managed to slur out through her numb lips. "Fwat fit fe?"

"Sorry, Ranma, I can't understand what you're saying," she said sadly. She perked up a little and continued. "You should be more careful what you say around Akane. She doesn't like being called certain names, but she is really a very sweet girl if given the chance."

Ranko thought about this a moment as she looked at something that had fallen off her face when she sat up. It was a block of ice with an imprint of the lower half of her face on it.

Ranko tried to sigh, but only managed a flapping of her numb lips. She needed that bath now. "Fi fam froein' fo fet fa faf." She got up and left Kasumi to try to figure out what she had just said.

Ranko found her pack where her panda-father had left it when they came to the Tendou home... in the dining room. It had been shoved off to the side, but it was still there. She rummaged through it and found a towel and a spare change of clothes.

She then proceeded to the changing room. The door had been repaired. She entered and removed her clothes again, absently tossing them into the laundry bin.

She was about to open the door when it opened of its own accord. Ranko's eyes went wide as she realized it was a naked Akane. She dutifully kept her gaze on Akane's face.

"And just _what_, may I ask, are you doing _here_?" She did not seem happy to see Ranko there. Unable to speak correctly, Ranko blubbered uselessly.

"FI fidfent fno shoo fer fin fere..." She looked up at the ceiling, prepared to take whatever punishment Akane dealt out. She didn't wait long.

"**Pervert**!" She hit Ranko in the gut causing her to double over. Unfortunately for Ranko, she didn't stop looking upward, and ended up getting an eyeful of Akane's birthday suit. She felt a nosebleed threatening.

She was glad when Akane jumped over her... until she realized that she had jumped on top of her head. Akane hopped off, shoving her face forward and into the ground. She then felt Akane's foot connect with her rump as she yelled again. "**Don't enter the bathroom until you know that no one is in there**!" She rolled into the bathroom and hit the wall with her back. Her head resting on the floor, she caught one last glance at a nude Akane as she forcibly slammed the door shut.

Now just a little too sore to comfortably move her head, Ranko just sat there on her head. Eventually, she fell forward with a yelp of pain. She quickly jumped to her feet and gingerly set about cleaning herself off. The hits she'd taken from Akane over the course of the day causing her more discomfort than she'd dare admit.

* * *

Genma sobbed. His old friend was possessed and his family made up of demons. His son was either dead or on their side by now. And in either case, Nodoka would surely chop off his head if she ever saw him again. 

He'd heard his son's pained cry come from downstairs nearly an hour ago. It pained Genma to think that his son might be gone. But it pained him even more to think that he might have turned against him. He silently prayed for the former.

Genma's sobs increased as he heard voices outside the room once again. Genma prayed that it wouldn't be that Demon-Soun returning to torture him that he heard. It sounded like Ranma, but, after last time, Genma couldn't be sure.

Genma's sobs grew even louder as he realized that his son was being manipulated by the demon. She was trying to fool him into thinking that Genma was in here of his own free will. Ranma would surely see through the deception, wouldn't he?

But Genma's worst fears became reality as Ranma came through the door, grinning evilly. He carried a small glass of water in one hand and the pack in the other, and he had several welts on his face. And his aura was full of a sinister energy. But most terrifying of all that was the look in his eyes, it promised Genma worlds of pain and torture.

Genma would've wailed if he could've, but the gag in his mouth prevented it. His son had either been possessed by a demon or turned evil during the torture. Now Nodoka would surely kill him. If he ever survived the demon's torture, that is.

Demon-Ranma went behind Genma, who couldn't stop himself from sobbing, and sobbing, and sobbing. He started shaking violently. What would his possessed son do to him after all the things he'd done to him? There was a splash, and girl-type Demon-Ranma popped up in front of Genma.

"So, Daddy," she somehow managed to say both prettily and menacingly despite the welts on her face. "What are you going to do to me now, huh?" She paused and put a hand to her ear as if trying to make sense of his strangled sobs. After an eternity of this, Demon-Ranma spoke again.

"Humph, exactly what I thought. Nothing." She walked around behind him, and he heard her whisper in his ear. "You know, I despise you for all those years you kept me locked up in here, but I've got to thank you. You set me free by taking Ranma to those springs." She stopped for a moment, coming back around in front of him. She looked into his fearful eyes.

"Oh, that's right, I haven't introduced myself, yet." She bowed before him and continued ranting. Genma was having trouble breathing. "My name is Ranko, I've been waiting for the day when you would screw up and let me out. And now that it's finally here, I think I'll suggest we have roast panda for dinner." She stopped, putting a finger on her chin cutely as she thought.

Genma was now unable to stop himself from sobbing at all. His worst nightmare had become reality. Ranma had been taken over by some evil demon that had resided within him, and it was all Genma's fault! And what's more, it preferred his female body, so Nodoka would surely kill them both.

Ranko reached forward and pulled out the gag in his mouth. He gasped, and Ranko's frightening countenance disappeared as she spoke again. "Gotcha there, didn't I, Pops," she continued. "Ya' know, Kasumi was right, I do feel better now." She looked around in wonder as Genma found his shaky voice.

"R-Ranma?" He really wished he could get his feelings under control. "You have to get me out of here! I swear that I will never do anything like the Neko-ken or Jusenkyou again without reading the fine print! Just get me away from this house of demons!"

Genma watched as Ranma sighed. It was really unnerving to see those mounds bouncing around on his son. "First things first," she said. "This house is not full of demons. They all went to Jusenkyou, too."

"So how do you explain this torture that I'm going through?"

"Punishment, for taking someone else with ya' to Jusenkyou. Kasumi said she put Soun through the same thing, and I thought it was kinda funny when she showed me the pictures of it all." She chuckled as Genma trembled. His son had already been turned against him. After all, she was backing up Demon-Soun's story.

"Ranma, don't turn against your..." Ranma broke in before he could finish.

"Ya' know," she said threateningly. "I really oughtta just pound ya' flat a couple of times…" Genma stayed quiet, remembering how Ranma had been acting when he'd first come in. "But it's just way too pitiful the way you're acting now, ya' big crybaby."

"Oh, by the way," she said hesitantly. "I know it unnerves ya' when I act like a girl, but the others all suggested that I take up an alternate identity for my female form. So call me Ranko when I'm like this... Nabiki said it would help me get used to it..." Genma broke out in tears and started bawling. Now able to speak as he cried, he gave his every concern a voice.

"Oh noooo... Nodoka's gonna make me kill myself 'cause our son is half woman... And to make it all worse... He's acting like a woman now tooo... **And the school'll have no heir 'cause Ranma'll have to kill himself tooo**ooooo..." Genma was vaguely aware of being picked up about halfway through his rant, but he didn't realize that Ranma... Ranko... was slapping him until the most terrifying demon Genma had ever seen burst through the door with a terrible war cry.

There was no describing the beast that entered with a black head three times the size of its muscular, hairy body and the terrible cry that accompanied it. Genma didn't realize his son had abandoned him until he landed in the far corner of the room, and Ranko's face appeared upside down in the window.

* * *

Akane rushed in behind the demon-headed gorilla. Her entire family had heard when Mr. Saotome had started ranting loudly. Akane hadn't heard anything clearly until she got to the door, but she and gorilla-Soun had just arrived when he shouted about Ranma having to kill himself. Now she guessed her father was probably going to try to kill Genma just for suggesting it. 

There was no way that Akane would let her father kill Genma before she found out what the heck he was talking about. Why would Ranma have to kill himself?

She grabbed the frightened old man and hauled him out the window and up onto the roof. Ranko, whose face appeared to be rather purple in several spots, assisted her. She looked behind her to see her father jump out the window behind her, only to realize too late that there was no ground directly beneath him.

Akane watched as her father's demon-head technique faltered, and he fell. He hit the ground hard and didn't get up. Akane turned away from him, knowing full well that he'd be up the next day, perfectly fine. His cursed form handled damage like that incredibly well.

She turned to Ranko. "Just what exactly is that idiot babbling about?" She indicated Genma, who was busy crying something about demons and his wife.

"Well," the redhead said thoughtfully, looking at Genma. "He seems to be thinking that your family is made up of demons for some reason, and he's being more persistent about it than usual... The stuff about this Nodoka person is all news to me though." Her face scrunched up into an angry scowl. "He never talked 'bout Mom with me." Ranko's scowl disappeared as she reached up to rub her cheeks. Akane started guiltily. She'd caused those welts on Ranko's cheeks with her temper.

"Are you going to be alright, Ranko?" Ranko started, as if just realizing what she'd been doing and lowering her hand.

"I'll be fine," she said guardedly.

"Are you sure? I know I hit you pretty hard there."

"I've had worse." Akane sighed. Ranko was not going to talk.

"Well, I'm sorry I hit you like that..." Akane decided to focus on the matter at hand as she started feeling uncomfortable and Ranko started fidgeting. "Well, let's see what we can get out of your father."

"I'm all for that," Ranko exclaimed gleefully. "Hey, old man, what the heck are ya' talkin' 'bout with this Nodoka person?" She moved towards him as if to knock some sense into him, but he sobered up and answered before she could take two steps.

"Nodoka is your mother," he said sadly. "I promised her I'd make you a man amongst men if she allowed me to take you away for training about fifteen years ago. She accepted on the term that if I failed, we'd both commit ritual seppuku to restore family honor." Ranko froze solid. But she immediately thawed as her battle aura blazed to life around her.

"**You bet my life on making me a man among men**!" Akane saw where that could easily become a problem. If Nodoka ever found Ranma, then it was lights out for him/her.

Akane decided not to stop Ranko when she started beating on her hapless father. He more well than deserved the pounding he received. She eventually joined in, removing his bonds as they thoroughly beat him to a pulp.

End Chapter 1

Author's Notes:

A lot of you are probably wondering what the heck is going on here. Kasumi torturing Soun and Genma? Akane actually a decent fighter? Nabiki handing out freebies! What the heck is going on here?  
First off, Akane is a lot better because she has a couple rivals. And I'm not just talking about Kunou and Kodachi. The Tendou family picked up that Tibetan or Confucian (I forget which...) curse that a lot of people blame Ranma's hectic life on: 'May you live in interesting times.' Don't ask me what it means. You don't need to know that to understand the darn thing makes life hectic.  
Next up, Kasumi torturing Genma and Soun... Having been driven slightly insane by being given two bodies suddenly, Kasumi locked her father in a room for three days when she was ten years old (Assuming it took them a year to get to Jusenkyou). Don't worry though; she has gained back her sanity. The drug was meant for comic effect... Just be glad I changed the third effect from making the victim permanently insane (As if Soun isn't already insane enough as is…).  
Now, as for Nabiki handing out freebies... The earlier mentioned Confucian curse has given her a taste for chaos in her life. But she can't always sate her need for both money and chaos at the same time. So she has started giving out freebies to cause mischief.  
As for the next episode... Well, you'll just have to check in to find out.  
Oh, and, please bear with me on this... The chapters _do_ get shorter.

So long for now...  
SkyDragon2083

Finished April 29, 2004  
Revised June 14, 2005  
Released March 23, 2006


	2. The Best Friend

**Life's Twists**

Disclaimer: Characters, plots, places, and techniques are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. As such, they are the property of her, as well as Viz and whatever company released Ranma 1/2 in Japan.

**Chapter 2: The Best Friend**

Ranma woke up early on Saturday morning. Something didn't feel right, like someone nearby was intent on killing him at any moment. He quickly scanned the room as he jumped on top of the panda that was sleeping next to him. He found nothing.

He suddenly fell to the floor as his father rolled out from under him and held up a sign. Self-training today, boy. Ranma scowled. 'Self-training' meant that since Genma had taken a beating the day before, he was going to sleep in.

Noticing the bad feeling was gone, Ranma quickly dressed himself and left the room. Moving through the dark, Ranma made his way to the door leading outside and to the dojo. He opened the door to find it was raining softly again.

Does it ever stop raining around here?

* * *

Kasumi sighed as she held a good friend of both herself and Akane close. They had been sparring since Kasumi found her in the dojo nearly half an hour ago, and she had suddenly lost it on Kasumi. She had struck blindly at Kasumi several times before just collapsing.

Now Kasumi sat, holding the crying girl. Their weapons lay on the ground nearby, forgotten as Kasumi cradled the younger girl. The girl sometimes came by late at night whenever she thought nobody would notice, but Kasumi rarely slept. She had taken to sparring at such late hours with the girl as a way to help focus herself.

Kasumi became aware of Ranma coming towards the dojo, and she silently thanked her greater self for passing along the information from her twin. Her friend would not appreciate being seen like this by a complete stranger.

"Ukyou, someone's coming," Kasumi spoke softly as the crying girl stiffened. "He's new around here, so do try to be nice to him."

Kasumi got up as Ukyou pulled away from her, and Ukyou wiped the tears from her face. They both retrieved their weapons and turned to see a grumbling and wet redhead enter the dojo. Kasumi spoke before Ranko had a chance to notice either of the other girls in the room.

"Ranko," she used a firm voice this time. "What are you doing up at this hour?" Ranko jumped and stuttered out a shaky reply.

"H-Hey Kasumi," she took a deep breath before continuing. "I usually wake up at this time to spar with Pops, but he ain't gettin' up." She frowned as she spotted Ukyou. "You remind me of someone... Who're you?" Something about the way she asked that gave Kasumi a bad feeling.

Ukyou slipped her spatulas into her bandolier before replying. "I might ask ya' the same thing, sugar. Difference is, I don't think I know any redheads."

Kasumi broke in before Ranko spoke, earning a glare from them both. "This is Ukyou, Ranma. She's a friend of ours." Ranko raised an eyebrow at being called by her real name in her cursed form. "Ukyou, this is Ranma. He's Akane's fiancé and is now staying with us along with his father."

Ukyou took a hard look at Ranko, and then turned to Kasumi with a raised eyebrow. "Looks like a girl to me," she said. Kasumi caught a note of depression, and Ukyou continued. "I didn't know Acchan swung that way." Kasumi noted that Ranko had froze somewhere along the line.

Ukyou blink-blinked. "Wait a second," she got an angry expression on her face. "Why do ya' keep calling her a guy?" Ranko thawed out and stared at Ukyou, saucer-eyed.

"Ucchan?" Ukyou and Kasumi both froze. Kasumi faintly recalled Ukyou once telling her that the man who had abandoned her, her fiancé, had called her Ucchan. She also recalled her claiming that their fathers had set it up. Kasumi paled. Surely Genma wouldn't...

Oblivious to what was going on in Kasumi and Ukyou's heads, Ranko continued. "Is that you Ucchan?" Ukyou turned to look at Ranko, shock evident on her face, and Ranko continued. "I-I thought you were a guy..."

* * *

Ukyou stood, watching the redhead who had called her Ucchan. Only two people had ever called her that, and one of them was Akane.

The other had left her behind, crying, on the road.

Unless the Tendous were playing some sort of elaborate trick on her, Ukyou was engaged to a girl... who had thought that Ukyou was a boy. She had to be sure.

"Ranchan?" She couldn't believe that she might have engaged herself to a girl... She despaired as Ranma nodded, smiling nervously. "I thought that you were a boy..." She blinked as Ranma's expression turned sour.

"I am not a boy," she said matter-of-factly. She pointed at her chest. "**I** am a man." Ukyou's eyes went wide just before she burst out laughing.

"Ranchan," she managed eventually. "You are most decidedly **not** a man." Ranma opened her mouth to speak, but Ukyou beat her to the punch. "I mean, does any man have a pair of those?" She poked Ranma's chest, causing the redhead to blush. Ukyou laughed harder.

"Umm, Ukyou," Kasumi said. "Ranma isn't lying." Her serious tone snapped Ukyou out of her fit of laughter. Kasumi never used a tone like that unless she was totally serious. Ukyou's eyes once again widened at the implications of this.

"No way," she started. Ranma interrupted.

"Jusenkyou does things to ya', Ucchan," Ranma said sadly. "I take it ya' already know 'bout the place?" Ukyou nodded, unable to speak past a lump that was forming in her throat. She was engaged to one gender swapper, and in love with another. Ukyou suddenly found herself questioning her personal preferences.

Noticing that Ranma had stopped talking and was now looking down at her feet, Ukyou took a little initiative. "So ya' fell into the Spring of Drowned Girl?" Ranma barely nodded. "Great, now there're six of us." She sighed.

"Seven," Kasumi corrected her, causing Ukyou to look at her curiously. "You need to include Ranma's father." Ukyou sighed louder.

"Ya' know what," Ukyou said, frowning, and causing Ranma and Kasumi looked at her. "I need to get revenge for being left behind..." She trailed off as she pulled her battle spatula from her back. Calmly, menacingly, she started advancing on a wide-eyed Ranma.

Then she remembered what Kasumi had told her about Ranma. He was Akane's fiancé. Beating on him would only make her depressed, and Ukyou wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did that. Ukyou sliced her spatula into the ground with an outraged cry just short of her original target. "**Damn!**"

"Ukyou!" Kasumi slapped Ukyou, and Ukyou blushed. It was around five in the morning, and she had just cursed loud enough to wake the dead.

Ukyou turned to Ranma, an angry look plastered to her face. "I wonder how Akane will feel when she discovers that her fiancé has **two** of his own." Ranma looked at her confusedly as Kasumi gasped.

* * *

Two fiancées? What did Ukyou mean by that? "Um, Ucchan," Ranko asked. "What're ya' talkin' about?" She watched as Ukyou scowled.

"You mean to tell me that ya' don't even know?" Ukyou was really angry about something, and Ranko wished she knew what about. Ukyou's scowl deepened. "You're father promised my father that we would be married and that I would go with ya' if we gave ya' our okonomiyaki cart. And ya' took it!"

Ranko paled as the memories flooded her. Genma asking Ranma if he liked okonomiyaki or Ucchan more. Ucchan running towards Ranma as he waved goodbye. Ucchan tripping and crying as he and Genma left. Ditching the cart after eating all the food later that day. Ranko suddenly felt like a world-class heel... again.

Ranko looked down at her feet. Ranma had said that he liked okonomiyaki better than Ucchan. He hadn't gone to help Ucchan after she had tripped. Ranma had hurt Ucchan. Those were her thoughts just before something occured to her.

Genma hadn't told Ranma what had been going on. He had hid the fact that Ucchan was a girl. He had suggested that they leave. _He_ had suggested taking the cart and leaving Ucchan. Genma had tricked Ranma into hurting his best friend.

Ukyou continued talking. "You're lucky that I promised Akane I'd never seriously hurt her." Ranko snapped her head back up and glared at Ukyou, who continued. "The way she's been acting about getting a boyfriend... If I were to beat ya' the way ya' deserve, then she would hate me…" Ukyou looked away before continuing quietly. "And I don't think I could stand losing my best friend again."

Ranko saw red. Her pops could hurt her all he wanted for training. But to hurt someone else like this simply to fill his belly... Ranko was forced to wonder if she was really related to the fat, bald, old man.

"C'mon, Ucchan." Ranko grabbed Ukyou's hand and pulled her towards the door. "You wanna get revenge, right? Then you'n'me're gonna pound some sense inta' my old man for another stupid promise." She opened the door and stepped out into the rain. But Ukyou stopped her from going any further.

"Ranchan, wait a sec..." Ranko pulled Ukyou out into the rain and nearly slapped herself. She dropped Ukyou's hand as it started shifting form upon coming into contact with the rain. Seven, Kasumi had said... Counting her family and the Tendou's, there was only six. Ranko silently cursed herself as she turned around to look at what Ukyou became, and she gawked.

Ukyou hadn't changed as much as Ranko had expected. A plume of sand colored feathers had sprouted from her forehead, and a pair of large wings covered in feathers of the same color now came out of her back. Her hands now looked like talons, but they still had their basic shape.

Kasumi stepped up behind Ukyou. "Ukyou fell into the Spring of Drowned Hawk, then tried to use the Spring of Drowned Girl to cure herself." Ranko pulled her mouth shut as she realized what that meant.

The curses mixed. The Spring of Drowned Man wouldn't put her back the way she was supposed to be. That was why the Guide had refused to show it to them.

Ranko watched Ukyou. She wasn't sure about the hawk-girl. How did she react to having people learn of her curse? Apparently, she didn't react well. Her wings were drooping, and she had her arms crossed in front of her in a way that barely hid her hands. She was looking off to the side and looked like she was about to cry. Ranko sighed.

"Ucchan," Ranko said, trying to catch Ukyou's attention. The other girl looked at her briefly before looking elsewhere. "What's wrong Ucchan?" Ukyou continued looking away. Ranko looked at Kasumi, who just shrugged sadly. What could Ranko do to snap Ukyou out of this weird mood her curse seemed to trigger? A dim light in Ranko's head lit up.

Mimicking the move Akane had used to throw her out of the bathroom earlier, Ranko pulled on one of Ukyou's wings. She then rushed behind the startled girl and shoved her towards the house. Looking over Ukyou's shoulder, Ranko saw Kasumi open the door from the inside. Only slightly confused, Ranko continued pushing Ukyou through the door.

She spun the startled Ukyou around and examined her closely. "Ya' know what, Ucchan," Ranko said as Ukyou just stared at her dumbly. "Those feathers on your forehead make ya' look pretty darn cute..." She noticed Kasumi approaching with a kettle and waved her off. She refocused her attention on a blushing Ukyou. "They make ya' look even cuter than when ya' didn't have 'em." Ukyou blushed even more.

Her blush suddenly vanished as a suspicious light entered her eyes. Almost instantly her wings came up, and her talon-like hands went to her hips. An angry look came to her face as she bore down on Ranko. Ranko took a half-step back and started making warding gestures. What had she done this time? She felt her throat go dry.

"What about Akane?" Ukyou had said that quietly, but with the way she was glaring at Ranko, she may as well have shouted. Ranko flinched. "Well, Ranchan, what's the deal? Are ya' going to play both me and Acchan? Or do you intend to marry both of us? Do you even **intend** to marry **one** of us? Huh? Well? Are ya' listening to me, Ranchan?"

Ranko made a mental note to try not to anger Ukyou again in her cursed form. Ranko wasn't used to being shoved around by the winds her wings created as she used them to bap Ranko on the head. And Ukyou had stressed every question with a bap on the head. Rubbing her bottom, Ranko got up from where the last bap had knocked her to the ground.

"I don't know!" She managed to keep herself from shouting. She wasn't used to being hit after calling someone cute. "All I know is that this is the second engagement I've learned 'bout that Pops made without tellin' me. I'm gonna go drag him outta bed. If ya' wanna get revenge, then this is a pretty good chance to get it." 'And regain an old friend,' Ranko silently added. Ranko retrieved the kettle from Kasumi and dumped part of its contents on herself.

Ranma turned and looked at a wide-eyed Ukyou. "Here ya' go, Ucchan." He tossed her the kettle and left up the stairs. He wondered how he would get his father out of the guestroom without waking the entire house.

* * *

Ukyou sighed as Ranma left the room. She had thought that he'd be a pretty-boy after seeing that he was such a pretty girl. But he had proved himself to be a handsome man after changing back, just like Kaneda...

Ukyou cut that thought off sharply. Kaneda and Akane were one and the same. And while Akane had once told Ukyou that she might be okay with dating girls, she had also said that she wasn't interested in them either. Ukyou couldn't deny it, though.

If anyone were to ever ask, she would admit that she had a crush on her aquatransgendered friend. She couldn't help it that her heart screamed for Akane whenever she drew near. It just happened.

And now there was Ranma. She knew she was already falling for him, _hard_. He was cute in either form and he had said she was cute... in her cursed form! Ukyou looked down at the kettle in her talons and sighed again.

Ukyou blushed as a thought came to her. Both herself and Akane were engaged to Ranma. And she wasn't against marrying both. Was that even legal?

She derailed that train of thought, mentally taking a battle spatula to her own head. She found that doing such usually kept her mind off the subject, for a while anyway.

"Are you hot, Ukyou?" Ukyou blanched. She'd forgotten that Kasumi was there. And Kasumi had called Ukyou's attention to the blush on her face. And _that_ had brought her back to the thoughts she had just squelched.

"N-no, Kasumi, I'm fine." Ukyou took another mental spatula to her own head and willed the blush away.

"Are you sure, Ukyou?" Ukyou looked at the serene martial artist, wondering how Kasumi managed to seem so content all the time. She decided to put it down as a part of the Housekeeping style as Kasumi continued. "You seem to be upset. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" Ukyou shook her head as she heard something big coming down the stairs.

She looked over to the stairs and quickly questioned what she saw. Why was a panda living in this house? And since when do pandas sweat?

* * *

Akane woke quickly. Something big had just passed her door, and it didn't sound like a gorilla. She pulled herself out of bed and moved to the door. Opening it a crack, she saw a nervous panda slowly retreating towards the stairs.

The panda held up a sign. What did I do this time? Akane opened her door a little more so she could see the sign more clearly and heard the whispered reply.

"Do ya' remember Ucchan, Pops?" Akane's eyes widened as several things slipped into place like pieces to a puzzle. Mr. Saotome started sweating bullets. "Well, guess who I found in the dojo with Kasumi."

Uh oh! Akane opened the door a little more. She had to be sure. If Ranma was Ukyou's mysterious fiancé, then she would never let him hear the end of it. If she even let him stay around, that is. She saw Mr. Saotome raise another sign. What do you know, boy!

"Enough to wonder how ya' manage to live with yourself." Ranma's voice started rising, and the anger and disgust in it was becoming apparent to Akane. "First, ya' promised Mr. Tendou that I would marry one of his daughters. Then, ya' went behind his back and promised me to Ucchan." His voice was cold steel.

Akane decided that she had heard enough. She opened her door and gave Mr. Saotome the coldest glare she could muster. Then she turned to Ranma, who was trembling as he glared at his father, a cold glint in his eyes. Akane glared at Ranma until he noticed her. He calmed down somewhat, but she could still see the anger in his eyes.

"What's this about Ucchan?" Akane wanted to be totally sure about what was happening. And she sure wouldn't find out by pounding anyone to a pulp.

Besides, that privilege belonged to somebody else at this time.

"Pops here made another stupid promise," Ranma said quietly as he once again glared at Mr. Saotome. "He promised Ucchan that I would marry her in exchange for her father's okonomiyaki cart. He never told me what was going on. Hell, I didn't even know Ucchan was a girl." He looked down, blushing slightly.

Akane understood that. When her family had found Ukyou on the way to China, she had been dressed in an okonomiyaki seller's outfit, and it had made her look like a boy. Ukyou had just sworn vengeance to her fiancé and the guy's father. Akane wondered if Ukyou had attempted to get her revenge on Ranma. He was out of their league.

Akane shook her head to clear it and glared at Mr. Saotome again. "You call yourself a man?"

NO! He flipped the sign as Akane watched with a blank expression. Right now, I'm a panda. Akane mustered an even colder glare than when she had first come out.

"You better go down there and face Ucchan. Otherwise..." Akane pointed at her father's room. "I won't protect you the next time my dad goes ape. And trust me, he will go ape over this."

Mr. Saotome's eyes went wide before he mechanically turned around and headed for the stairs. Akane nearly jumped out of her skin when Ranma softly whispered in her ear.

"Ya' weren't serious, right?" Akane whipped around as she jumped away from Ranma. His inquisitive look calmed her slightly. She took a long, deep breath to try to ease her suddenly tense body.

"Don't do that to me." She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. She wasn't used to having people sneak up on her like that, and she definitely wasn't used to having anybody get _that_ close to her without her knowing it. "I don't know if I'd really do that or not, but your dad must be pretty good if he trained you all by himself." She opened her eyes and looked up at him.

His eyes were focused on a point just over her head. He also wore a blank expression, but was blushing slightly none the less. Akane's brow furrowed. "Is something wrong, Ranma?" He looked down momentarily, his blush deepening. He then focused on another point slightly higher than the last.

Akane's eyebrow twitched. Ranma's gaze hadn't stopped at her face, but had focused on a point further down. Or, rather, two points further down. Akane blushed as she realized how her tension had manifested itself. And that her pajamas didn't do a good job of hiding that sort of thing alone.

**Smack!** She slammed her door behind her and quickly changed into her masculine running clothes, having noticed that it was raining outside. She stuck her hand out into the rain in preparation.

Kaneda left his room making a few adjustments to his clothing and found Ranma staring off into space. Arching an eyebrow, he waved his hand in front of the other boy. When Ranma didn't respond, Kaneda got a pail of water from the bathroom and splashed Ranma.

Ranko blink-blinked. "Uhh, Kaneda?" The redhead spoke uncertainly as she slowly focused in on Kaneda, who now held the bucket behind his back. "What just happened?" She was still pretty out of it.

"I slapped you for looking at me." Kaneda turned around and headed for the stairs, softly setting the bucket down. He heard Ranko come up behind him. "And for scaring me the way you did."

"Sorry." Ranko chuckled. "I didn't know you'd react like that." Kaneda frowned. He couldn't blame Ranko, but he still didn't like it.

He sighed as he and Ranko came down the stairs to a peculiar sight.

* * *

Genma, A.K.A. Mr. Panda, feared for his life. It wasn't that he hadn't expected something bad to happen with all his dealings. But this was far worse than even the worst-case scenario he had come up with all those years ago.

Fifteen years ago, after sealing the master away, he and Soun had made a deal to see the two schools united through marriage. Three months later, Genma had taken the barely walking Ranma on a fifteen-year-long training trip with the understanding that Ranma would become a man amongst men. And then, ten years ago, Genma had promised Ranma to Ukyou for food.

Now it seemed that Genma's mistakes were catching up to him. Soun's family was possessed by demons. Ranma was part-girl and back in Nerima, where the possibility of both of them losing their lives over his curse existed. And the winged and taloned girl that Mr. Panda now stood before carried the Kounji family weapons.

"Since when do ya' all have a panda?" Mr. Panda winced. That Kasumi-demon would surely give him away to the girl, most presumably a similarly possessed Ukyou.

"Since Ranma showed up." Mr. Panda's jaw dropped. "Mr. Panda came with Ranko." He pried his mouth shut as Ukyou looked at him appraisingly.

"Hmmm... Maybe I could take it as repayment for the 'yaki cart after me and Ranchan beat on that two-timing Genma. I could use an aid at my restaurant." Mr. Panda's eyes went wide. They let a monster like her run a restaurant? Had the whole town gone to the demons?

He reaffirmed his promise not to fall to the demons as he held up a sign. I am not a labor animal! He backed towards the stairs as Ukyou looked at him quizzically, and he flipped the sign. I'm a circus animal! He backed into something.

Mr. Panda spun around to find himself face to face (make that muzzle to chest) with a very angry boy with bluish-black hair. 'Who is this boy?'

"I thought I told you to face Ucchan like a man, Mr. Saotome." The boy's eyes flicked up to the sign that Mr. Panda still held, and a look of rage passed over his face. "You better not call yourself a man if you run from this."

Ranma (Mr. Panda refused to think of his son as Ranko despite taking up his own separate identity) stepped out from behind the boy. "Ya' ain't gonna try to get out of your just desserts again, are ya' Pops?" Her voice contained steel.

Mr. Panda held up a sign with identical writing on both sides of it. My son has betrayed me! Another sign. Woe is me! The boy in front of Mr. Panda knocked him on the head with the first sign. And who is this boy?

"That's Akane, Pops!" Ranma yelled at Mr. Panda before continuing in a more controlled voice. "That's her cursed form. They've been to Jusenkyou, same as us." The boy... Akane... broke in.

"I prefer to be called Kaneda when I'm like this." Mr. Panda looked the boy... Akane... Kaneda... up and down. He then held up another sign with writing on both sides.

My son is engaged to a man! He quickly regretted that sign.

Pow! Clank! **Ka-pow!** Crack!

Ranma's fist knocked him off balance, his panda-head turning with the blow. A giant spatula had come from that direction, flattening his face while putting him back where he had started. Then an enormous, glowing mallet had made him one with the floor. He only heard the whip crack over his head. He jumped up and looked around.

"Do I look like your son right now, Pops?" Ranma's anger was temporarily forgotten as she continued. "I have a girl's body now. I could change back into a man, but this body is always just a splash away. I can't even see Mom 'cause of it..." Her anger returned two-fold. Mr. Panda could tell by the battle aura that surrounded her. The others responded to this by showing off their own battle auras. Mr. Panda did not feel safe in this room anymore.

"What's the big idea calling Akane a man?" The winged and taloned Ukyou seemed about ready to rip Mr. Panda's head off.

"That wasn't very nice, Mr. Saotome." Kasumi was holding a long sash, which Mr. Panda realized to be her whip. "Especially considering that you still consider Ranma to be a man when he is in his cursed form."

"And just how do you explain what you did to Ukyou!" The boy who was Akane... Kaneda... asked angrily. He took the sign that Mr. Panda had been holding and beaned him over the head with it. "And I'm a woman, not a man."

"That's debatable, sugar," Ukyou said to the suddenly blushing boy. Mr. Panda tried to take advantage of the momentary distraction to slip off, but he found his path blocked by a gorilla.

The gorilla raised its arms, which had a pair of odd-looking gloves on them. It started making swift motions and a voice came out of the gloves. "Saotome, old friend, you aren't leaving so soon are you?" The gorilla glared at the panda in a way only a gorilla could. Mr. Panda suddenly felt safer with the hostile, battle ready martial artists behind him.

Tendou? The gorilla nodded. It seemed to concentrate for a moment before trying to speak with its mouth.

"Oo, ooo... Choo... Juoos... Jushing..." The panda shivered as the man-turned-ape tried to speak in plain words. Surely he didn't mean...

"Chosengyo... Jusenkyou." A look of triumph passed over the gorilla's face. The panda felt all the blood drain from his face. Ukyou spoke up behind him.

"Wow, Mr. Tendou, you've been practicing." Mr. Panda didn't register this remark, as he had fainted from shock... while still standing.

* * *

Ranko walked up behind her panda of a father. He'd gone stiff when Mr. Tendou had spoken. She didn't really blame him. Those weird gloves were bad enough, but to have him actually talk... That was just too weird.

"Sootamoo." Ranko moved around in front of the panda as the gorilla tried to continue talking with his hands. "Saotome, are you alright?" Ranko waved her hand in front of Mr. Panda's face, and then knocked on his head. She blinked at the hollow sound that came from his slack mouth.

"I always thought Pops was a pea brain..." She grinned evilly. "But I never thought it was actually true!" Several people hit the floor as Ranko looked at Mr. Panda's face. It didn't even twitch. "Pops is out like a light."

"Ya' mean to tell me that he fainted because King Kong talked!" Ranko looked around her father to see an angry Ukyou, still in cursed form, pulling herself up from the ground.

"King Kong? Ya' mean him?" She pointed over her shoulder at the gorilla.

"Yes," Kaneda said as he picked himself up. "King Kong is Dad's nickname for when he is in his cursed form. Kind of like how I'm Kaneda and you're Ranko."

"Oh." That was good to know. Ranko would hate to accidentally reveal the Tendou family's secret. If it was a secret, anyway.

"Ranko." She nearly jumped out of her skin when Soun... King Kong... turned out to be right behind her. "I wanted to have Genma tell you this, but, since he isn't able, I will."

"What is it, King Kong?" Ranko grinned. It was funny calling Mr. Tendou that.

"It has been decided that you will be going to school with Nabiki and Akane..."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" Ukyou broke in. Ranko decided to throw her own two cents in.

"Who said I wanna go to school?"

A mallet came down on her head. "You are going to school, Ranko. No fiancée of mine is going to be an uneducated idiot. A plain idiot, maybe, but not an uneducated one." Ranko shoved the mallet off her head and turned to glare at Kaneda as Ukyou spoke up again.

"Kanchan's right, Ranchan." Ranko attempted to give Ukyou the evil eye while still glaring at Kaneda and failed miserably. "His reputation rides on you now, since you're engaged. So ya' best shape up or ship out." Kaneda raised an eyebrow and Ukyou blushed. Ranko got the feeling she was missing something.

"Nabiki has already done the paperwork for you, Ranko." King Kong surprised her yet again with his proximity. "You have been enrolled under the same conditions as Akane and Ukyou have." Ranko eyed him cautiously, waiting for him to finish. It quickly became apparent that he wasn't going to.

"Well?" Ranko glared at him.

"Well, what?" The change must have made Mr. Tendou stupider.

"What conditions have I been enrolled under?"

"Ask Kaneda." King Kong picked up the statue-like Mr. Panda and left. Ranko blink-blinked, then looked at Kaneda.

"Well?"

Kaneda sighed. "It's likely that your family records as well as the legal records have been changed to show your new... ahh... status..."

"Which means, Saotome, that you owe me a few favors." Nabiki's voice came from the stairs. Everybody looked over to see a severely bedraggled Nabiki glaring at Ranko. She was wearing pajamas covered in yen signs and did not look happy to be up. Grimaces went around the room as Nabiki continued. "The changes haven't gotten through yet, that won't happen until sometime tomorrow."

She started towards Ranko, making Ranko feel very uncomfortable. "But, you have already been set up with these conditions for school: One, you don't have to wear a uniform unless for some odd reason you become incapable of changing forms. Two, you are eligible to use the secondary changing rooms instead of the regular ones. Three, you can use any bathroom you want in the school. Four, you get to use the school lot for any of your challenges. The downside is that you are expected to follow the honor codes to the point as well as help the various clubs and organizations whenever they ask for help.

"Normally, I mince words a lot so that they can be turned to my advantage, but you're lucky that your shouting down here woke me up. I just gave it all to you straight, and for free, too. So you better give me quite a few **worthwhile** favors, Saotome." Nabiki turned and left back for the stairs. "Now, if you all could **please** keep your talk to tolerable levels, I'm going back to bed." She disappeared up the stairs, leaving everyone speechless.

"Hey, uh, Kaneda," Ukyou finally spoke. "That is the most activity I've ever seen your sister put in before leaving for school." Ranko absorbed this fact.

"I don't think I've ever seen her up this early," Kaneda responded. "Not even that one time that we both had that freakish cold. You know, the one that made us stay up for three days straight, sneezing every five minutes." Ranko failed to absorb the latter half of what Kaneda had just said, being too occupied trying to figure out if she ever didn't follow her code of honor to the point.

"Oh, Ranko, this just isn't proper." Ranko jumped as Kasumi popped up behind her. 'Wait, wasn't Kasumi over there...' Ranko looked to see Kasumi was indeed over there. She grimaced as she realized that she hadn't been paying enough attention to her surroundings. She looked at the Kasumi behind her.

"Uhh, what isn't proper, Kasumi?" Ranko looked herself over quickly, not finding anything wrong with the way she was dressed. She looked back up at Kasumi.

"You can't go using the boys' bathroom when you're a girl, Ranko." Kasumi spoke in a matter of fact voice that made Ranko shiver uncomfortably. "And you can't use the girls' room when you're a boy." Ranko blink-blinked. She couldn't be serious... "So you will not be allowed to change forms in the bathrooms." Ranko face faulted. She'd planned not to change forms at all!

"Hey, Ranko, are you okay with all this?" Ranko jumped as she realized that, once again, she'd neglected her surroundings. Kaneda had snuck up on her. She spun around to face him to find that Ukyou was standing right beside her. She jumped again. Suddenly feeling pressed in on, Ranko dashed to the door of the room with the kettle Ukyou had still been holding moments before.

"I'm gonna go work out in the dojo..." Ranko dumped the kettle over her head, and Ranma left through the door he was standing in, grabbing an umbrella from the rack next to it as he went. He missed the looks that Kaneda, Ukyou, and Kasumi passed each other as he left.

* * *

"Wonder what's bugging him?" Ukyou gave voice to the question that was on everyone's minds. 

Kaneda turned away from the door Ranma had left through. "I'm not sure, Ucchan." A thoughtful expression passed over his face. "It might have something to do with why he was so jumpy, though." 

"Oh, dear," Kasumi said as she handed another kettle to Kaneda. "I think it might be that he doesn't like being snuck up on." Ukyou blink-blinked, realizing that was probably the truth. Few martial artists, heck, few _people_, liked being caught by surprise. Kaneda tipped the kettle over his head. 

"I'm going to go find out what's bothering him," Akane said matter-of-factly, handing the kettle to a blushing Ukyou. "What?" 

Ukyou shook her head and looked Akane in the eyes. "Your clothes..." She gestured downwards, causing Akane to look down. She eeped and quickly tried to grab her shirt closed. This was a familiar sight to Ukyou. Some of Akane's clothes were sized to fit Kaneda. And while the elastic bands in all of her pants allowed all her pants to fit her in either form, the shirts sized for Kaneda often lacked in feminine modesty. 

Especially the running clothes. They consisted of a Kaneda-size muscle shirt and shorts. Again, the shorts were fine, but the shirt... The muscle shirts that barely fit Kaneda left Akane with a draping cover that showed off quite a bit of her cleavage. Too much to allow Ukyou to be comfortable. Sometimes, like now, they showed more than just cleavage. 

Akane suddenly disappeared up the stairs, her face beet red. Ukyou stifled a giggle. 'You would think that it wouldn't embarrass her by now...' Ukyou had seen her change enough times dressed like that to know that it happened at least once a week. 

Ukyou dumped the remainder of the kettle's contents over her head and stifled a cry as her talons shrank back into hands and feet, as her wings pulled into her back, as her bones became solid, and as her crest pulled back into her forehead. Ukyou sighed as she noticed that Kasumi had left. Only Kasumi knew that Ukyou's curse caused her actual pain as she changed. It was one of her closest secrets, and there were times when she could use someone to talk about it. 

Akane reappeared, dressed in the same shorts, but with a custom t-shirt that would stretch into a muscle shirt for Kaneda. Ukyou recognized it. Ukyou had gotten it for Akane when she had complained about her cursed form busting all her clothes a year or so earlier. Akane had come up with several means of preventing that from happening by the time Ukyou actually got the shirt to her, but Akane still wore it enough to make Ukyou glad she had ordered it. 

"Okay, **now** I'm going to go see what's bothering Ranma." She grabbed the last umbrella in the rack, but stopped when Ukyou put a hand on her shoulder. 

"You mind if I come with?" She grinned mischievously. "Or are you looking to spend some quality time with your fiancée?" Ukyou watched Akane blush as the multiple meanings of the question went through her mind. 

"No!" Akane stopped herself, blushing even more. Ukyou raised an eyebrow. "I mean, it's not like that. You can come if you want to. He's your fiancée too, after all..." Ukyou blink-blinked. "And its not like I'd just fall for a guy simply because he has the opposite curse to my own." 

"So you don't mind sharing your fiancée? You just want to get to know him?" Ukyou cursed herself as Akane gave her an odd look at the first question. They stepped out towards the dojo under the umbrella. 

"Well, to answer your first question, I kind of have to take what I can get. Not many guys are interested in me because of my curse, and I don't even want to think about Kunou. He already has a girl who likes him." She paused, and Ukyou waited for her to answer the other question. "And yes, I do want to get to know him if I'm going to marry him." She scowled slightly. "He picked me because of a promise that didn't even really apply." 

They reached the door to the dojo, but Ukyou stopped Akane from opening it. "Let me guess... Ranchan showed up as a girl and you made her promise to pick you because of your curse." Akane nodded. "Well, don't get yourself all worked up over it. I'm sure he'll grow to like ya', even if he doesn't now." Ukyou smiled wryly. "You're a hard person not to like." 

"Thanks, Ucchan." 

"Anytime, Acchan." Ukyou smiled at her friend and opened the door. She quickly spotted Ranma doing katas in the middle of the practice area. Complex katas. _very_ complex katas. 

Temporarily mesmerized by the fluidity of Ranma's motions, Ukyou didn't move out of the doorway until Akane poked her on the back. This caused Ukyou to leap forward with a small cry. 

"**Aaaahhhhh!**" Akane always managed to find that _one spot_ that made Ukyou jump. Ranma jumped, too, though he jumped out of surprise. 

"Gah! How is it everybody 'round here keeps surprisin' me!" He came down from his perch in the top corner on the other side of the room, landing softly in front of Ukyou and Akane. "So... You wanna talk to me 'bout somethin'?" He started scratching the back of his neck. 

"You have two fiancés, Ranma." Akane said after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. Ukyou blink-blinked. Hadn't they come out here to find out what was bothering him? "What do you intend to do about that?" Ranma's face flushed red and he looked down at his feet. 

"I-I don't know," he managed after a few moments. Ukyou noticed that he seemed to be having trouble speaking. She decided to lighten the mood. 

"Well, I know what Nabiki would suggest..." Ukyou spoke in a way that she knew made people curious. Akane and Ranma both looked at her with eyebrows raised. She smiled at them as she spoke. "She would have Kanchan marry girl-type Ranchan and boy-type Ranchan marry me." Akane just stared at her and Ranma grimaced, causing her smile to fall. 

"Mom would kill me..." Ranma said sadly. Akane looked at him. 

"Wouldn't she kill you anyway for being a girl part of the time?" Ukyou blink-blinked. They were talking way too seriously about this. 

"You guys can't be serious. It was a joke, ya' know... Ha ha ha... funny..." Ukyou tried to lighten the mood again by making exaggerated motions with her arms. She gave up quickly as the two just looked at her. "Look, it's not like your mother will really kill you..." Ranma grimaced, causing Ukyou to trail off. 

"Pops promised my mom that he would make me a 'man amongst men' or the both of us would commit seppuku to reclaim our honor." Ukyou felt the blood drain from her face. She wouldn't seriously hold them to that promise, would she? 

"Well, now I know what ya' meant when you said you can't see your mother." Ukyou sighed. Mrs. Saotome would have to be one tough woman to be able to handle having her son commit seppuku at her own deciding hands. Ukyou didn't think she'd be able to do it... 

Ukyou blink-blinked as something clicked. "Just a question, Ranchan, but do you know what your mother's name is?" Ranma looked at her oddly. 

"Ummm, Pops said her name was Nodoka. Why?" Ukyou paled as it hit her. There was just no way. One of her biggest customers was... 

Ukyou snapped down on her train of thought. She couldn't tell him about this until she was completely sure. "Oh, no reason at all..." Ukyou plastered a horrible grin on her face, not expecting Ranma to be fooled by it. She noticed understanding dawn over Akane's face as Ranma looked at her. 

He shrugged. "Okay." Ukyou nearly blurted out her realization then and there at Ranma's shear idiocy. Was he that bad at reading people, or was he just that gullible? Her guilt forced part of it past her before she could stop herself. "One of my regulars is called Saotome Nodoka..." Ukyou clamped her hands over her mouth to prevent herself from going any further. Ranma froze as Akane hissed. 

Ranma thawed quickly. "I'm really gonna have'ta increase my awareness, then." Ranma looked at the floor dejectedly. "I hate meditation." 

"Huh?" Akane asked cleverly. "What are you talking about, Ranma?" She clarified her question. 

"Well... my awareness... of what's going on around me... ya' know?" He made several sweeping gestures. "So nobody can sneak up on me... Catch me off my guard..." 

"Oh, you mean your battle sense?" Ukyou asked. 

"Kinda', but I'm talking more a sense of what's goin' on around me in general." He shook his head. "A battle sense only helps ya' if someone wants to hurt ya'." He sighed. "It takes sparring to build a battle sense, but it takes meditation and practice to build an awareness. I was gonna do some anyway 'cause everyone here keeps jumpin' me." Ukyou looked at him blankly. She noticed that Akane had an understanding look on her face and decided to ask her about it later. 

"Well, that answers one question. Now, back to the question we came here for." Ranma raised an eyebrow at Ukyou. "What are you going to do about this fiancée situation?" Ranma grimaced again. 

"Well, I can't really dump either of ya'..." Ukyou glared at him at the same time as Akane, causing Ranma to take a step back and start making warding gestures. "I'm honor-bound to marry both of ya'... I can't help it that Pops sold me off for food!" He started getting indignant, so Ukyou stopped glaring and sighed. 

"You're right," she said looking at the ground. Then she realized something. She looked back up at him angrily. "Just like I'm honor-bound to get revenge for being left behind." He looked at her as Akane decided to speak up again. 

"You can try, Ucchan." Ukyou looked at her. Had she gone crazy? He was her fiancée! Then Akane continued. "I doubt you'd succeed in getting your revenge from Ranma, though. He's out of our league." Akane smiled wryly at Ukyou. Ukyou understood that smile. Akane had helped Ukyou train for her revenge, and the two were pretty much even, except when Ukyou took advantage of her cursed form. But Ukyou wasn't as skilled with her cursed form, even though the boost in speed and the ability to fly usually gave her the upper hand. If Akane said Ranma was out of their league, then she would believe it. 

"So..." Ranma said cautiously. "Are ya' gonna try to get revenge?" Ukyou looked at him, finding a neutral expression. "'Cause that would solve this fiancée problem really quick if ya' ask me." Ukyou caught Akane looking hard at him. 

"What do you mean by that?" Akane's hard look turned into a full out glare as she pulled out her mallet. Ukyou shivered. That thing should be outlawed. Ranma twitched upon seeing the mallet. 

"Ummm... Uhh..." Ranma started scratching the back of his head. "Nothin', nothin' at all." He waved her off. "It's just that, well, the way I see it, just trying to get revenge would satisfy Ucchan's honor, 'cause there's no way she'd actually succeed if she's just even with you." He breathed a sigh of relief as Akane calmed down. Ukyou raised an eyebrow. He had managed to calm Akane down from pre-mallet stage fairly quickly. No other martial artist had done that, Kasumi excluded. 

"So what are ya' going to do about it already, Ranchan?" Ukyou decided that he needed a push. "Are ya' gonna put off doing something or are ya' just gonna make the choice!" Ranma looked around guiltily, and Ukyou blink-blinked. He was seriously trying to put it off. How much of a social life had he had? 

"I think that I'll... I'll..." He started scanning the room and Ukyou narrowed her eyes. Was he looking for an escape route? "Aw, hell." He took on the look of a man walking to his doom. "Can't we wait 'til I get ta' know the two of ya' before makin' this choice?" He looked between Akane and Ukyou several times, a pleading expression on his face.

* * *

Ranma wanted to put off choosing his fiancée. He wanted to get to know both of them. He wanted to wait. 

Akane sighed. She wanted to wait too. She couldn't openly admit it, but she liked Ranma. Maybe even love. But she didn't want to push forward unless she was absolutely sure. She was pretty sure that Ukyou liked him, too. If the conversation they had on the way from the house was any indication. She sighed again. 

"Look, Ranma," Akane said slowly. "You will remain engaged to the both of us until either one of us or you yourself decide to break that engagement." She paused and glanced at Ukyou, who had surprise written all over her face. Akane smiled wryly and closed her eyes. "Furthermore, you will date each of us one night a week. If you fail to show up for a date, then it will be assumed that you have decided for the other fiancée. Unless you get sick or are otherwise unable to go on the date." 

Akane opened her eyes and looked at Ranma, and she instantly lost her wry smile. Ranma was a ghostly white. She looked at Ukyou, who seemed as puzzled as Akane felt. Ukyou noticed her and shrugged. 

"He got like this when ya' said 'date.'" Ukyou looked at Ranma again as Akane tried to figure out how that could frighten Ranma. "I hope you didn't scare him to death with that idea." Akane blink-blinked. 

"What do you mean?" Ukyou looked at her strangely. 

"Oh, ya' don't know?" Akane shook her head. "Some men freeze up at the thought of even one date. I've heard that suggestions for many can drive them nuts. And it looks like Ranma is one of those boys." Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "Well, he isn't dead, that's for sure." Akane laughed humorlessly. 

Some color returned to Ranma's face. "Ummm... tell me your not serious." Akane's brow twitched. If this was how he reacted to the idea of a couple of dates, how would he respond to the idea of actually getting married? Akane sighed. 

"Fine, one date every two weeks." She looked at him. He wasn't moving. "Ranma?" 

"Uhh... Sure... One date… every two weeks... for each fiancée... I hope I don't have anymore than just the two of ya'." Ranma sighed. Akane's eyebrow twitched again. "Pops would do almost anythin' for food while we were travelin'." 

"Ya' mean to tell us that you might have another fiancée?" Ukyou seemed incredulous. Akane had her mallet out again. There was no way that she would accept it if he had yet another fiancée. Ranma was looking between the two of them with fear written all over his face. He shook his head. 

"Uh uh... If it turns out that I do, then I'll... I'll... I'llturnthemdownthenandthere!" Akane blink-blinked. What did he finish that off with? Akane looked at Ukyou, who wore a perplexed expression on her face. Ranma went back to the center of the dojo and started doing his katas again. He went too fast for Akane to track his movements with any accuracy. 

Akane sighed. "C'mon Ucchan, I don't think we're going to be able to talk with Ranma anymore for now." Ukyou nodded dumbly and the two of them headed for the door. They grabbed the umbrella and left Ranma to finish his workout routine.

* * *

Ranma stopped his katas as he noticed Akane and Ukyou leave. He kneeled down in the center of the dojo and started focusing the way some monks had once shown him. He focused in on himself, feeling his aura ripple as he quickly inspected it from within. Satisfied with what he found, Ranma pushed his aura outward without giving its visible form off. He focused harder as he pushed it outward, managing to push it beyond the bounds of the room he sat in. 

Finding himself at his peak focus, Ranma let his thoughts drift. He now had two fiancées. 

Akane was a good match for him in several ways. She was a practitioner of Anything Goes Martial Arts. She was a great fighter, better than most Ranma had met, though he wouldn't say it to her so that she wouldn't slack off on the training she did. Akane had the more valid claim to marry him since the promise to Mr. Tendou came before the one to Mr. Kounji. She also had the opposite curse to Ranma's own curse. He wondered idly if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but decided that could wait for another time. 

Ukyou didn't seem to be such a good match for Ranma. He had yet to see her fight, but he remembered that she hadn't been half-bad. And Akane had said 'our league,' so they were probably about even. Ukyou's claim wasn't as valid, having been made after the one to Akane's father, but the fact that the dowry had already been accepted complicated that. Then there was her curse. She turned into a hawk-girl. It was an unusual change, even for Jusenkyou apparently; the Guide made an open attempt to keep cursees away from the other pools. Ranma wondered how it affected her fighting, but not knowing how she fought, he was unable to think of anything more than the advantage that flight would give. 

But what really gave Ranma a problem with Ukyou was his view of her. She was his best friend. One of the only friends that Ranma had ever made. The fact that he recognized her after all these years, even though he had originally thought her to be a boy, was testament to that. Genma had always kept them on the move, so making friends had always been hard for Ranma. 

Genma was the source of almost every one of Ranma's problems. His mother... This fiancée mess... The Nekoken... 

Ranma snapped down on that thought. He was far too stressed to even think about that. Simply thinking about it gave him the willies sometimes, and going into... _that_... over a mere thought would be an embarrassment that he would never live down. 

Ranma realized that he'd slipped out of focus, and brought himself back to his peak, pushing his unseen aura back to its limits. This time, however, he pushed to focus on everything that happened within his aura as well. He remained there until Kasumi made a loud call for breakfast. Not bothering to acknowledge the others whenever they checked up on him. He did, however, note who and how often. 

In the end, only Genma hadn't checked on him, whereas Akane and Ukyou checked on him close to twenty times each. When Kasumi did call for breakfast, Ranma wondered if he'd be able to even handle an actual date. 

End Chapter 2 

Author's Notes: 

Okay, probable question time. Does it ever stop raining in this universe? Who taught Kasumi the Housekeeping style? Is this Nodoka the same woman who carried Ranma (Remember, in this story, she only had Ranma for one year.)? Is Ukyou gay? Since when does Ranma meditate?   
And the answers, in order of asking: Yes, it does stop raining. You'll find out about the Housekeeping style in later chapters. I can't tell you because that would ruin the story. You decide that for yourself. And they never show Ranma's activities when Genma fails to get up.   
Oh, sorry about the _huge_ delay, but after spending over an hour translating the last one into HTML coding, I was kind of wary of doing it again for this one. That shouldn't happen again.   
One last thing... (And you guys have every right to flame me for this one...) But I do actually have this written out to mid-way through chapter four. Unfortunately, I've been stalled there for over a year.   
As redress for my errors, expect this next installment sometime this weekend. 

Oh, and a quick kudos to those who've given me a kick in the ass to put sort work this thing. You know who you are. 

Flame me, I deserve it,   
SkyDragon2083 

Finished May 7, 2004   
Revised June 14, 2005   
Re-revised April 18, 2006   
Released July 5, 2006 


	3. School and a Kendoist

**Life's Twists**

Disclaimer: Characters, plots, places, and techniques are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. As such, they are the property of her, as well as Viz and whatever company released Ranma 1/2 in Japan. I make no money off of this, so please don't sue me.

**Chapter 3 - School and a Kendoist**

"Ranma! Breakfast!"

Ranma jumped up from the spot where he'd been meditating and dashed out of the dojo. He grimaced as he thought about the talk he, Ukyou, and Akane had had, and wondered if he would even be able to handle a date.

He brushed that thought aside as he sat next to Genma in the dining room. He noticed that Genma was glaring constantly at everyone but him and grimaced again. His father could be persistent at times, but this was getting out of hand.

Akane sat down next to him, opposite of Genma, and glanced at Genma, who's only response was to glare doubly hard at her for a few moments. Ranma calmly kicked his father in the face. He suddenly found himself flying out the door he'd forgotten to close when he came in. He splashed down in the pond.

"Hey, wha'd'ya do that, Pops?" Ranko shouted at her glaring father.

"Never disrespect your father like that, Ranma."

"I'll show ya' some respect when ya' give me a reason to!"

"I trained you!"

"Ya' want the list of mistakes ya' made with that!" Genma opened his mouth to make a retort, but Ranko noticed Ukyou's spatula coming around in an arc towards Genma. Genma noticed just a moment too late. "So, Pops, how do ya' like gettin' thrown into the pond?"

Mr. Panda just growled as he plodded back towards the house. Ranko looked at him oddly and headed in herself after a few moments. Ukyou and Akane were both glaring at Mr. Panda as Ranko sat down. She glanced at him as she started eating, noticing that he was watching her closely... too closely. Ranko glared.

"They didn't poison the food, Pops." Ukyou, Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi all turned death glares on Genma as King Kong froze. A second Kasumi came in, glaring with equal ferocity as her twin, and gave Ranko the kettle she held. Ranko dumped it over her head, not bothering to save any for Mr. Panda, who looked like he might shrivel up at any moment.

Mr. Panda slowly picked up a pair of chopsticks and fiddled with the food on his plate. Ranma watched as he slowly picked up a little rice and put it in his mouth. He chewed slowly, thoroughly annoying Ranma with his unusual behavior. Ranma clapped him on the back, forcing him to swallow by reflex.

"Just eat it, Pops," he growled. Everyone relaxed as Genma started eating faster, glancing at Ukyou occasionally. Ranma started eating at an equal speed, and soon found his plate was missing food. He glanced at his father's plate, which, if anything, had gained food. Ranma started sparring with Mr. Panda over the food.

He was totally oblivious to the looks that this generated from the rest of the household.

He did, however, notice when Akane joined in on his right. He smiled. "So, Akane?" She looked at him as she took some food from both his and Mr. Panda's plates, throwing Ranma slightly out of focus. He regained it quickly and retreived the food he'd lost and more from both Mr. Panda and Akane's plates. "When do we gotta go to school?"

"In about five minutes." She smiled evilly as Ranma blanched.

"**Five minustes!**" Ranma's distraction allowed all of his food to be taken.

"Of course not, baka." Her smile kept Ranma from taking offense at her remark. Cute didn't describe it. "We have about fifteen minutes from the time Nabiki leaves." Ranma retreived all his food, quickly shoving down what he got from Mr. Panda.

"Which reminds me," Nabiki said as she got up. "Time for me to go." She disappeared out the door as Akane took half of Ranma's remaining food and ate the other half. Ranma made up for this by taking what she'd taken back and eating it all. Ranma noticed Mr. Panda reaching for the remains of Nabiki's plate and quickly lashed out. He knocked the chopsticks out of his father's paws, and grabbed all the food off Nabiki's plate. He also gobbled down half his father's food as Mr. Panda fumbled with his chopsticks. This all happened in the first second after Nabiki left.

He went to finish off what he'd taken from Nabiki's plate to find it gone, replaced with a sign. You are not going to a demon school, even if I must die to stop you.

Ranma held up the sign. "Care explaining this, Pops?" Mr. Panda froze, allowing Ranma to reach for his food. He blinked as another pair of chopsticks slapped his own out of his hand and then took all the food from Mr. Panda's plate. He glanced at Akane as she grinned at him smugly, her chopsticks still in her mouth from the steal and the quick eating.

Ranma hadn't given her enough credit, again. Akane was incredibly good, for a girl... Even if she did turn into a guy.

Ranma was forced to turn his attention back to his father after a sign came down on his head. They admit demons. So the school must be run by demons. Mr. Panda flipped the sign. King Kong's face turned menacing as Ranma read this side of the sign. Thus the school is a demon school. I won't let you go learn demonic values at a demon school. Ranma felt two very powerful battle auras resonating behind him, two more off to the side, and he could see King Kong's without even trying.

Mr. Panda, on the other hand, seemed to be totally oblivious of all of them. Ranma just looked at him. 'How can I possibly be related to this guy?'

"Pops, they ain't demons. They went to Jusenkyou, just like us... You do remember that, don't ya'?" Mr. Panda glared at him and held up a sign.

Lies. All of it lies to deceive us. 'Am I really related to this guy,' Ranma wondered again.

"That is **more** than enough, Saotome!" Ranma glanced at King Kong, whose hands were blurs as the mechanical voice struggled to keep up, both in volume and in speed. "You cannot keep insulting my family like this and expect to remain in this house! Either cease this madness at once or leave now!" Ranma noted that only King Kong's battle aura was still lit up, and that Mr. Panda was cowering in a corner of the room behind him.

"I don't think he's gonna cause ya' anymore trouble today, King Kong." Ranma grinned. It was way too funny calling Mr. Tendou that, but he sobered up quickly. "But I wouldn't blame ya' if you did kick him out for a while." Ranma turned to Akane and Ukyou with a slight frown on his face. "C'mon, lets go before Pops recovers." With that, he left, missing the looks exchanged by the women.

* * *

Akane rushed out with Ukyou in tow. "What's with Ranma this time?" 

Ukyou, struggling to understand the strange events of the morning, spoke without really thinking. "How would I know? I don't know how those two get along in the slightest. They're complete opposites from what I've seen of them."

"Them?" Akane thought about this. "Something about his father is bugging him!" She thought about that a little and, realizing that she should have known that from the start, blushed. "It must be the way Genma is treating us all like we are demons." 'Still,' she thought. 'It wouldn't hurt to ask him.'

Akane spotted Ranma off ahead of them, walking on the fence. She wondered about this as she ran to catch up with the jogging martial artist, but put it down to be some sort of balance training. Akane resolved to give it a try later as she pulled a dazed Ukyou to where Ranma had suddenly stopped.

"Hey, Akane," he said uncertainly. "Which way is the school?" Akane slipped and grabbed the fence, nearly falling flat on her face from Ranma's query. Ukyou, being dragged along by the other hand, didn't have the fence to grab and was less fortunate. She lay on the ground as Akane looked at Ranma, her thoughts of asking Ranma about his problems disappearing completely in the face of his idiocy.

"Why are you leading the way if you don't know how to get there?" This was absurd, not as absurd as the Kunous, but still... "Follow me." Akane helped the slowly recovering Ukyou pull herself off the ground, then set off in the direction that they were already heading in.

They walked for a few minutes in silence. Ukyou stunned into silence by the morning's revelations about Ranma's father, Ranma feeling too akward to say anything, and Akane fuming over the almost painfully obvious incompetence of the Saotome family. After about three minutes of this, Ranma broke the silence.

"So, do a lotta people 'round here know 'bout the curses?" Akane glanced back over her shoulder, then turned around completely and walked backwards. Ranma had hopped off the fence without her knowing it. She studied his expression for a moment, finding him to be genuinally curious. She sighed.

"Yes, Ranma, almost everyone around here knows about our curses."

"So I don't hav'ta worry 'bout keepin' mine a secret that much, huh?" Ukyou broke in before Akane could respond to the question.

"Yeah, but try to keep it within our class." Ranma and Akane both looked at her oddly. "Well, your mother..." Ranma paled.

"Ya' just had'ta remind me." He looked down at the ground with a somber expression. "What'll I do 'bout the mess Pops has gotten me into this time?" Akane looked at him with concern.

"This time?" Ranma grimaced again, staring at the ground.

"Ya' don't wanna know, trust me." Akane continued walking along backwards, watching Ranma, until a splash of cold water hit her.

"Cold."

"Damn!"

"**Cold!**"

All three cursed martial artists turned a cold glare at the little old lady who continued to ladle water onto her walkway, apparently completely oblivious of the three she had just splashed. Kaneda turned back to Ranko and Ukyou.

"Let's stop by Dr. Toufuu's and get some hot water." Ranko perked up at this.

"Well, what're we waitin' for?" She made to bolt off, but Kaneda picked her up by the back of her shirt.

"You don't know the way yet, Ranko."

"You aren't trying to lose us, now, are ya' Ranchan?" Ukyou cast a dark look at Ranko.

"Ah-heh-heh..." Ranko reached up and rubbed at the base of her red pigtail. "No, I just can't stand being a girl... I feel weaker in this body..." Ranko noticed Ukyou casting her an evil eye as Kaneda grinned. Ranko may be weaker, but she would soon discover that she is also much faster as a girl, if she hasn't already figured that out. "Besides, I'm a man, not a girl!" Kaneda fought the ugre to tell her that pointing at her chest like that didn't really help her case.

He sighed. "Let's just go." The wet group set off in another direction in silence.

* * *

Ranko spotted the clinic easily as they approached. It was one of those all-around type places that usually had an older doctor who had studied for years running it. Ranko glanced at the sign. This guy must be particularly old considering all the things he knew. 

"So, this guy'll give us hot water?" Ranko wasn't so sure. Since getting her curse, most such men had tried to seal her away, thinking her to be some sort of demon. She'd taken to avoiding them.

"Yes, Ranchan, he'll give us some water." Ranko glanced at Ukyou, who seemed nervous about something. "Stay out here, me and Kaneda will get the water." Ranko decided not to argue as the other two headed for the front door. She had the feeling that Ukyou was trying to hide her for some reason. Maybe Nodoka frequented this place? She watched from around the corner as an old woman went to fetch the other two some water.

Ranko suddenly sensed a cold presence just over her shoulder, and instinctively jumped up the wall to get away from it. She turned to look at what had snuck up on her to discover a man holding a skeleton. She looked the man over carefully. He was young, maybe between 20 and 25. He wore a small pair of glasses, a medical gi, and had his hair in a small ponytail behind his head. Ranko focused on him, trying to sense his ki, but she had no success.

The man apparently couldn't handle her gaze, though, and gave her a strained smile as he spoke. "Hello, I don't believe I've met you before Miss...?" He looked at her as if asking her to fill in the name. He was also eyeing her very carefully though, making Ranko slightly nervous. His control over his ki had vanished when he smiled, revealing that he wasn't particularly powerful. Ranko climbed down, but stood by the wall.

"Ummm... Ranko... Saotome Ranko." She frowned as he stood up straight at her name. "Who're you?" The man blinked at her a few times before responding slowly with a glare.

"I'm Dr. Toufuu Ono, the Saotome family doctor, and I know you aren't Ranko." Ranko blinked at him, stunned into silence. A voice from around the corner brought her out.

"There you are, Ranko!" Ranko spun around to look at a normal Ukyou handing Ranko a kettle. Ranko glanced at the now confused doctor. Ukyou's gaze followed Ranko's. "Ummm..."

"You two should probably tell me what's going on here." Toufuu's expression had turned to one of open concern. Ranko sighed. The man was right.

"Ummm, for starters, my name's really Saotome Ranma, and I'm really a boy..." Ranko dumped the kettle over her head, provoking the change back to her normal self. Ranma looked at the doctor's expression. It didn't change any. 'Once you've seen one curse, you've seen them all,' he thought darkly. "I need ya' not to tell my mom, Saotome Nodoka, I think she'd likely kill me if she found out 'bout my curse."

Toufuu looked at Ranma carefully. Toufuu looked some more. Ranma big-sweated as Toufuu continued looking at him. Then a voice broke the awkward situation.

"I couldn't find him anywhere..." Akane trailed off as she came around the corner and spotted Toufuu. "Nevermind."

Toufuu looked at Akane, then back at Ranma before speaking. "You want me to keep your curse a secret from your mother? May I ask why?" Ranma looked at Toufuu hard, but didn't quite glare. "I'm afraid I can't keep something like this a secret from your own mother without good reason." Ranma looked at the floor, then relunctantly explained about the sepekku promise. Toufuu was pale at the end of the explanation.

"Kamisama... And I thought she was a kind, gentle woman." He put his hand to his forehead and sighed. "Well, your secret is safe with me." Ranma grinned.

"Thanks." Ranma looked at the girls. "What time is it?" Akane and Ukyou blinked several times as they realized something.

"Kamisama! We're late!" They spoke at the same time, making Ranma shift uncomfortably. They each then grabbed one of Ranma's hands and ran off towards school, pulling a yelling Ranma backwards.

* * *

Ukyou scowled as she spotted the school gate ahead. She idly wondered which the idiot would think of her today, demon or angel? Ukyou saw the crowd behind the gate, and her scowl deepened. It looked like today was an angel day. 

"You two best keep out of this..." she trailed off as Akane shot her a look that said 'I know.' Ranma just looked confused.

"Keep outta' what?" Akane sighed and Ukyou decided it would be her turn to explain a few things a little later. For now, he would have to settle with a short answer.

"Because this is my fight, Ranchan." Ukyou unslung her battle spatula and rushed headlong into the group of boys attacking her. She noticed Akane and Ranma jump to the fence surrounding the school and decided to make this quick, since they were already late. She used the flat sides of the spatula and her elbows to down most of the group quickly, and wasn't surprised when some of the stragglers ran before she could get to them.

She idly caught the red rose that flew at her shoulder. Ukyou turned a cold glare on it's source. The tall boy dressed in kendo gear minus the padding and mask didn't even flinch. He held his bokken steady as he recited some poetry.

"Ah, tis the illustrious Kuonji Ukyou, surely this day must smile upon me, for her ferocity in battle is matched only by her lovely complexion." Had Ukyou not heard this and similar things a thousand times before from him, she would have blushed at the complement... And if not for the fact that it was horribly bad poetry. Ukyou's glare deepened, but the kendoist didn't seem to notice. He never did. She sighed.

"I don't have time for this..." Ranma popped up next to her, making her trail off as she jumped slightly.

"What's with him?" Ukyou looked at him, wondering why he didn't ask Akane, but the handprint on his face made her think otherwise. She could ask Akane later.

"Go away, Ranchan, my fight isn't over yet." Ukyou pointed a quick glare at Ranma, who was busy looking over the boys she'd knocked out. He opened his mouth to say something, but a booming voice interrupted him.

"Who are you who hounds the angelic Kuonji Ukyou?" Ukyou glared at the complete idiot who had the gall to make such a proclomation when he was doing that very thing. Ranma made a quick retort.

"I ain't hounding anybody here!"

"Who are you, boor?" Ranma started to answer but the kendoist broke in. "Ah, but it is custom to give one's own name first." Ranma blinked at the idiot as Ukyou watched the spectacle, recalling when Akane's cursed form had first shown a difference from her real self. The two situations seemed nearly identical, and she grimaced as more of it played out. "Fine then, my name I shall give!"

Ukyou watched as Ranma, bored by the idiot's sudden ranting, just waved him off. The kendoist took this as a sign to continue, drawing a grimace from both Ranma and Ukyou. "I am Kunou Tatewaki, Junior, Group E, captain of the kendo club, rising new star of the high school kendo world. But my peers call me..." He paused as if for dramatic effect and Ukyou rolled her eyes. "The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" Thunder crashed in the background, bringing several pairs of eyes to the suddenly dark sky. Ranma was quick to recover, and Ukyou's eyes went wide as he said precisely the thing to set Kunou off.

"Okay, umm... I'm stayin' at the Tendou dojo..." Ukyou backed away from Ranma.

"**What!**" Kunou bellowed. "Under the same roof as Tendou Akane! No doubt you intend to hound her as well!" Ukyou watched as Kunou charged at Ranma, striking out in a flash. "I shall never allow you to hound my loves!" Ukyou blinked as Ranma's afterimage allowed the bokken to pass right through it.

Ukyou spotted Ranma doing a slow backflip through the air as he took off his backpack. "I'm Saotome Ranma of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts." He tossed his bag to Ukyou with a quick "Hold this for me," and landed in a battle stance. "And I accept your challenge!"

* * *

Ignoring the pain from the slap Akane had given him, Ranma glared at Kunou. He could hear the shouts from above of someone saying another martial artist was in the area, and Nabiki saying something about Kunou's nickname, but he ignored these as he studied Kunou's ki for a moment. It was pathetic for a martial artist. Toufuu had more power than Kunou, and he was a doctor, not a fighter! 

Ranma relaxed his stance and finally started taking in the comments coming from the school. Another martial artist...? Wasting his time... 'They're right there...' Questions about his staying with Akane... Girls talking about what a hunk he was...

One of Kunou's earlier comments pounded its way through Ranma's thick skull. 'My **loves?**' Ranma looked hard at Kunou. From what Ranma had seen, neither girl liked Kunou, much less loved him. Kunou glared back.

"Scoundrel, hounding my innocent Akane and my angelic Ukyou all at once." Ranma heard soft gagging sounds coming from behind him, but decided they could wait, for now. "I cannot allow it!"

"Who's hounding who here?" Ranma realized it was pointless to waste his breath as Kunou shifted slightly. "It doesn't look like it's me doing the hounding, that's for sure."

Kunou charged at Ranma with a mighty swing, but Ranma jumped as Kunou buried his weapon in the concrete wall around the school. Ranma landed in a nearby tree as Kunou whipped around to attack him again. "**Knave!** To even suggest that I would chase a woman unwanting of me! **Unforgivable!**" Kunou sliced the tree down and Ranma landed halfway across the school field.

"Hey, it's the truth!" Ranma blinked as Kunou faltered in his sudden mad dash.

"Foul demon, I shall return you to the hell from which you came!" Ranma blinked a few times at Kunou's new proclomation. Where did he come up with these things? For that matter, where did he come up with that maddening high and mighty attitude? He was pathetic, and had no reason to have such an attitude. "Is stopping the movement of my body the only way you can defeat me? You must surely be in league with that scourge, Kaneda! I cannot allow either of you to live! Prepare for your end, **demon!**"

Ranma glared. "Who're you callin' a demon!" Ranma decided to finish the fool off as he heard thunder overhead. This guy obviously didn't know about the curses, and Ranma would prefer to keep it that way.

Ranma jumped into the air, heading towards Kunou on an arc. He saw Kunou's bokken come up, charged with most of Kunou's ki, and neatly pushed it aside with his ki-charged hand. Ranma pressed on Kunou's forehead as the surprised kendoist stared with wide eyes.

The sky chose that moment to open up, and Ranma charged towards the school. A quick look over his shoulder as he changed forms comfirmed that his finger trick had distracted Kunou enough for him to send the kendoist flying towards the roof of the school.

Ranko entered the front door to be confronted by both Ukyou and Akane scowling at her.

"Aah-hehehe... I guess I toyed around there too long." The scowls on the other girls' faces deepened.

* * *

Akane quickly took her seat, which was next to Ukyou's, as they entered the classroom. Luckily for them, the teacher's back was turned to the class, so they might not be noticed. Ranma, on the other hand, had no seat to go to, and stayed at the door until the teacher noticed him. 

"Ah, class, it would appear that we have a new student as of today, one Mr. Saotome..." He looked down at the sheets in front of him, and Akane saw his eyebrow go up. That wasn't a good sign. "It would seem that he's staying with the Tendou's..." A few sniggers went around the room as Akane felt a blush overcome her face. "...And has been enrolled similarly to Ms. Kounji and Ms. Tendou." Silence reigned as the man looked over at a fidgeting Ranma. "If you don't mind my asking, Mr. Saotome, just what exactly do you turn into?" Ranma's face contorted into a slight grimace. He muttered something and looked down. "I'm afraid that I didn't hear you there, Mr. Saotome."

"Onna." Akane was sure that if she could have seen his face, it would have been beet red. Akane could feel several pairs of eyes turn on her as the moment wore on.

After recovering from the shock, the teacher picked up a glass of water on his desk. He walked over to Ranma, who looked up as he approached. "I do need to know what you look like in both forms, Mr. Saotome..." Ranma looked back towards the ground, but Akane could still see his face, now contorted into a resigned frown. Akane suddenly wished that the people who were looking at him would look somewhere else.

The water descended over Ranma's head, changing him into a petite redhead. Ranko's unhappiness with the situation was clearly written all over her face. Akane wondered if she had underestimated Ranma's dislike of his cursed state as she watched the boy-turned-girl stare at the ground.

Another glass was upended on Ranko's head, and Ranma looked up at the teacher questioningly. The teacher smiled slightly at Ranma, then leaned forward and whispered something in his ear before returning to his desk. Akane wondered what he had said. That man was known to be a mild prankster. Akane twitched as the looks in her direction became more intense.

Ranma smiled gratefully at the man, then looked around the room, his eyes landing on the only empty desk in the room. The desk next to hers, opposite of Ukyou's.

The silence in the room started grating on Akane. The looks at her felt like lasers boring right through her soul. Akane suddenly wished something would break the silence, anything.

Ranma took a step towards the desk when a loud shout echoed from down the hall, fulfilling Akane's wish of moments ago. The voice that shouted it made Akane wish it hadn't.

"**I shall never allow it!**" Kunou burst through the door, slamming it so hard that it broke off its hinges. "I shall never accept your engagements to my beautious Tendou Akane and my angelic Kuonji Ukyou!" A shock induced silence ruled the room as Kunou glared at Ranma. Ranma failed to notice the glare. All three cursees had put their faces in their hands. Akane peeked out to see Ranma had moved on to glaring at the ceiling, whereas Ukyou was muttering curses about how unbeleivable life could get.

She idly wondered who or what she could blame as she felt anger swelling throughout the room. Everyone at Furinkan High was a martial artist of some sort. And while alone they were weak, just like with any other mob, together they became very powerful indeed. It was made worse when one considered that most of the school's best were in the classroom. The collective battle aura was making her extremely nervous. Who would it flow at?

* * *

Ranma tensed as Kunou leapt towards him. "Evil demon, I can see through your blasphelmy!" Ranma jumped towards a window, eager to get away from the mass battle aura his classmates were giving off. It contained a lot more power than most he had seen, enough to take him down if it was directed at him. "Stand still, foul scourge, so I may smite you!" Kunou's bokken was being swung every which way in an effort to catch Ranma, and it was starting to bug him. 

"Hey, this is no place for a fight!"

"There is no wrong place to slay a demon!" Ranma grimaced as he leapt to the window. He didn't like being called a demon, not in the least, but at least he knew that Kunou would follow him.

"I'm tellin' ya', I ain't a demon!" Not bothering to look at where he was going to land, Ranma jumped out towards the center of the school yard. He instead watched to make sure Kunou followed him.

"Hey, man!" Ranma looked past Kunou noticing that the mass aura had gone away, and that a blond guy was waving at him. "This is the third floor!"

"No problem!" Ranma called back, looking for the first time at where he was going to land.

"And you're heading for the pool!"

"**Shit!**" It was just Ranma's luck to jump towards the pool. He splashed down into the water, instantly changing into Ranko. A second splash announced Kunou's landing. Wishing to keep her identity a secret from the bulk of the school, Ranko swam up under the now unconscious Kunou. Slowly, she swam towards the side.

"I fight on!" Kunou suddenly wrapped his arms around Ranko, grabbing her soft busom. He froze, and she grabbed his head. Flipping Kunou onto the concrete with a shout of "**Pervert!**" Ranko quickly flipped off into the woods.

* * *

"Hey, why did Ranma come up under Kunou like that?" Akane glanced at the blond Hiroshi, wondering what she should tell him and the rest of the class. Ukyou partially solved this problem. 

"Ranchan's family has some bad blood in it, and he's trying to keep out of sight." She put on her horrible poker face and Akane grimaced.

"He also doesn't want it getting out that he's cursed like that." The entire class was paying attention to their conversation by now.

"So he has a separate name for his cursed form?" Yuka, one of Akane's few friends, asked. Akane glanced at her as Ukyou spoke.

"Yep, girl Ranma should be called Ranko." Several students looked at them as if they had grown extra heads. Akane raised her hands and waved them in a pacifying manor.

"That was Ranma's idea. He wants people to think that his girl form is his half-sister." More odd looks were directed at Akane. "Hey, it's actually believable."

"No way," Daisuke, a boy with greasy black hair, said. "I mean, what does that say about his dad?"

"You haven't met the man, Daisuke," Akane said flatly.

"Yeah, I don't know how those two can possibly be related, they're exact opposites," Ukyou ticked things off on her fingers as she listed them out. "Genma makes a promise he can't possibly keep, Ranchan beats him up to restore family honor; Genma engages Ranchan to two women, Ranchan helps both get revenge and tries to give both an equal chance; Genma engages Ranchan for food, Ranchan promises to give her a chance, even when she says she doesn't care." Most the room was quiet. "I'm not forgeting anything, am I Akane?"

"I think you got everything we know about covered."

"You mean there's more?" Sayuri, another of Akane's friends, asked disbelievingly. Akane grimaced.

"From the way Ranma acts, lots more, worse too." The entire room was pale now.

"How does he live with that guy?" One student asked.

"Forget that," Hiroshi said. "How does that guy live with **himself?**"

"I've been wondering about that since I found out that Ranma was Ucchan's missing fiancée." Akane blinked, realizing something. She turned to her teacher. "Um, sensei, may I be excused?" He smiled at her.

"To bring your fiancée some hot water? Of course, Akane." He grinned at her as she blushed.

"I barely know him, so I'd prefer to forget that little fact for now, sensei." Akane left before anybody could speak to the contrary. She failed to notice when Ukyou didn't follow.

* * *

Meanwhile, down on the pavement by the pool, Kunou tries to lay deep in thought. A rare occurance to say the least. One can almost hear the rusty gears grinding as Kunou shifts his head this way and that, trying to process the conflicting information his feeble mind has managed to absorb. After an eternity, he bolts upright from his position. 

"Saotome, you vile demonic scourge!" His yell goes unheard, as nearly everyone at Furinkan had long ago learned to filter out the sound of his voice. "Leaving a maiden to fight in your place as you run to hide! I shall return you to the hell from whence you came!"

He runs off, the gears in his head no longer grinding against each other fruitlessly.

* * *

"Damn idiot," Ranko muttered as she sat in a nearby tree. She ignored Kunou's screams as she worked on wringing out her wet pants. "He didn't have to squeeze that hard..." Ranko vaguly noticed Akane approaching with her arms behind her back, but she didn't acknowledge the other girl. 

"Rough day, wouldn't you say, Ranko," Akane called from below. Ranko looked down at Akane with an angry pout on her face. She wondered why Akane was blushing suddenly.

"Rough?" Ranko's unconsious pout turned into a frown. "Would you beleive that with the exception of bein' grabbed by that pervert, the rest of this day has actually been kinda' routine?"

"Considering your father... Yes, I would." Ranko nearly fell out of the tree. "Anything you need?" Ranko scowled.

"Somethin' I need?" She needed some hot water, but her pride wouldn't let her ask for it. "I don't need nothin'." Ranko looked away angrily.

"Then I guess you don't want this..." Ranko's curiosity got the best of her and she looked over at Akane as she brought her hands in front of her. "...hot water. I'll just have to throw it away." Ranko paled.

"**No! Meanie**, uncute, sexless tomboy... bring it **back!**" Ranko's calls went unheeded as Akane started walking off with the hot water. She couldn't see the mischievious smile that crept onto Akane's face. The smile that had disappeared by the time Akane turned around.

"You have to promise me something." Ranko looked at the blank expression on Akane's face, wondering what her fiancé was up to.

"Ahhh..." Ranko heard a sloshing noise coming from behind Akane, and quickly focused on it. She grimaced as she found the source.

Akane turned to look at the source of the noise and went stock still for a moment. Ranko heard Akane moan resignidly and wondered if that was a good sign.

The still thoroughly soaked Kunou turned to face them, and his face lit up. "Tis the beautious Tendou Akane, my love! How I have missed thee these precious hours of our separation..." Ranko decided it was not a good sign as Akane simply threw the kettle at her. She took the kettle to the head and fell out of the the tree, somehow managing to keep the hot water in the kettle as she landed. Unfortunately, Kunou took notice of the commotion. "And who may I ask is this graceful flower?"

Ranko grimaced. How could this guy see grace in falling to the ground head first? "I'm Saotome Ranko, Ranma's half-sister on our father's side." Kunou went stock still and Ranko wondered what could be going through his head. "And I'm engaged to Kaneda, so don't get any funny ideas..." Akane shot Ranko a shocked look, and Ranko realized her mistake.

Kunou remembered how to shout. "Sister to one scourge, fiancé of another... Never fear mi lady for I, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall free you from their evil grasps." Ranko stared as the kendoist abruptly changed gears. "Do you know where I could find that demon, Saotome? The base coward who would leave thee, his own sister, to fight in his stead." Ranko started glaring at Kunou. "He is no man, no man!" Ranko's glare would've killed a less oblivious person.

* * *

It should be said that Kunou Tatewaki, believing magic to be a sign of evil, wouldn't be able to see magic as being as innocent as a simple water curse. He'd seen Akane, Ukyou, and even Nabiki transform numerous times, and believed it to be the work of evil. This was, in fact, the primary reason why Nabiki had started carrying around instant spring water. 

Fourtunately for Kunou, he had yet to run afoul of a living sorceror/sorceress or diety, for he would surely have insulted them and received a curse far worse than any Jusenkyou could possibly dish out. (Except maybe for the original Jusenkyou spring, Spring of Drowned Magical Purple Dinosaur, which was totally permanent and left the cursee's mind forever locked beneath that of a love-preaching pacifist.)

This was why, when Ranko's blistering battle aura vaporized the water in the kettle and returned her to Ranma, Kunou suddenly took to beleiving Ranma had fused his sister to himself for some perverse reason.

This could be considered a bad thing for Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou, as this meant they'd have to put up with his antics for some time.

* * *

"I'll show you who's a man!" Ranma roared. 

Kunou glared at Ranma as he brought his full power to bear, focusing it all in his bokken. "So the Demon Scourge shows himself! I shall slay thee!" He rushed forward faster than Ranma expected and struck with a dozen strikes before Ranma could recover fully from his shock.

"You're gonna hav'ta move faster than that if you even wanna hit me!" Ranma yelled as he caught Kunou's pattern in only a second or two. After that, dodging the attacks didn't even require conscious effort on his part, even though the power and speed behind the attacks increased slightly because of Ranma's goading.

After a few seconds of silence on the kendoist's part, Ranma realized that Kunou wasn't going to respond. "Just how the hell do you explain me bein' a 'demon' when my sister's a 'fair maiden,' anyway?"

"Your mother was a demon whereas Ranko's was a maiden!" Ranma grabbed Kunou's bokken and punched him hard enough to knock the wind out of him and then some.

"Ya' don't even know my mother, so I don't know where the hell you get off judgin' her!" Ranma's aura had intensified. It was so bright, Kunou had to look away from it.

"That you would have me believe that a maiden such as Ranko could be evil tells me enough, demon!" Kunou shouted. Ranma looked at Kunou for a long, hard moment.

"I've killed demons before, Kunou. And let me tell ya', the most dangerous by far are the ones that look like 'fair maidens,' not monsters." Ranma's aura dispersed as he picked up something that had flown out of Kunou's shirt. He pocketed the picture faster than the eye could blink as Akane approached with his pants, hoping beyond hope that she didn't notice the picture suddenly disappear.

"You left these in the tree." Ranma took the pants and put them on as Kunou got up. "Weren't you just holding something?" Ranma blanched.

"I burned it."

"That quickly?" Akane glared at him.

"Yes." He pointed at a convenient pile of ashes, created when his ki had run through the bokken in conflict to Kunou's own. Akane took on a blank look as she looked at the pile of ashes. "I'm headin' home."

"Not before school ends, you don't."

"Naw, I've had enough for today..." He jumped over Kunou's strike, idly wondering where he'd got the extra bokken from, and delivered a devastating roundhouse kick that left Kunou's head buried in a tree half-way across the clearing. "...And ya' can blame him that I'm in no mood to put up with it." Ranma turned to leave, entirely missing Akane's darkening expression.

He didn't miss it, however, when he found his face at the end of Akane's fist.

* * *

Ukyou scribled quick notes for herself, Akane, and Ranma. She hadn't missed the flare ups of those battle auras, especially Akane's. She didn't know who had recieved the beating, but that hardly mattered either way. 

So she continued writing quick notes for her two wayward love interests.

* * *

Kunou pulled his head out of the tree and once again tried to think deeply. Needless to say, he failed miserably. He instead added yet more wrong assumptions to his idea of the world. 

Ranma was a demon. He surely worked with Kaneda to create the dual engagements. Said engagements enforced through the use of sorcery. Ranma, like Kaneda, used magic to make himself faster and stronger than Kunou. He also, unlike Kaneda, used it to confuse and stop Kunou. Ranma worked with Kaneda to prevent fair maidens from showing their love for Kunou.

Ranko was Ranma's half-sister. That made their father a dishonorable cur. The man had been seduced by Ranma's mother after marrying Ranko's mother. The two had been born within a month of each other. Genma had run off with them. Sometime between then and now, Ranma fused Ranko to himself. Now he sought to help Kaneda prevent any of the girls from showing their love for Kunou.

Ranma must be feeding dark energy to the demon possessing Ukyou. This would prevent her from showing her true feelings for Kunou.

All in all, Kunou's perception of the world just became even screwier.

Kunou walked back towards the school, determined to free this latest damzel from the likes of Kaneda.

* * *

Later that night, Genma ran through several exercises with his son as he worked up the nerve to speak. The fact that the boy had come back from school early had left Genma estatic. The state his son had been in had not. 

An angry Ranma was never easy to handle. An angry, sore Ranma was hell to try to control in any way.

So Genma had elected to allow Ranma to cool off for an hour or so. That hour had extended itself into several hours.

Finally, Genma worked up the nerve to say something. "Good to see that those demons haven't turned you yet, boy." He blinked as his son stopped training to look at him like he was mad. "What? Is there something on my face?" Ranma pointed behind Genma, prompting the man to glance over his shoulder.

Behind him stood three very pissed off women and one very angry gorrilla. The screaming didn't stop for almost half an hour.

End Chapter 3

Author's Notes:   
There goes chapter 3 of my masterpeice! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Flames over this proclamation will be used to heat my home!   
Anyway, it turned out pretty good considering I haven't worked on it for over a year. A nice little revision to the first two chapters followed by the completion of this chapter... I'm feeling pretty good about it now that I remember where I was sending this.   
Anyway, are there any questions? Doesn't Ranma's mother live in Juuban? Who's this other Saotome Ranko? Why did Akane slap Ranma earlier? What's the whole demon/angel thing with Kunou and Ukyou? And how did Ranma get turned back into a guy in that last scene? Oh, and aren't you being just a little cruel to Genma?   
In order of appearance... Yes, there are. Some people think that. Next chapter; I promise. I forget (It's been too long since I wrote that scene, but it was glaringly obvious at the time (I've since come up with a whole new reason that fits the story.).). Kunou's obsessed with Western literature, so it'd only follow that he's also obsessed with Western religion. Angry aura hot aura (Driving principle behind Hiryuu Shoten Ha.). And, yes, I am being cruel to the fat bastard; I've got issues with child abuse, okay!

Revision Notes:   
I've opted to leave the original notes in for this one, just to give you all a laugh at the first bit, which I usually delete during final revision. To clue you all in, I first started work on Life's Twists just three months after I started writing fanfiction. At the time, I thought it'd be a great running gag in the author's notes to loudly call this my greatest work.   
Making good on my promise to give you a chapter over the weekend, here it is. But just so you know, I'm going to have to beat myself over the head with all my old notes (Some of which I have lost.) over this before really remembering where this was going... Into the depths of chaos just isn't quite descriptive enough, in my own humble opinion.   
Kudos to Drifter950 and Thunderstorm101 for clarifying the origins of the Confucian curse 'May you live in interesting times.'   
I've started a forum for this fanfic that you can access from my account. Feel free to comment on things from the story there, start new topics, or whatever. Just keep it clean and don't forget that it should focus on something from this story. I'll keep an eye on it, and I may even consider adding your (the readers') ideas in if they're unusual enough and I can figure out _how_ to add them in.   
One last thing... If anyone out there can decently speak both Japanese and English, contact me. I severely need help with developing attacks and attack names (Read: I'm just too lazy to try and create/translate them myself.). Help with names for original charaters is always good, too, though it's not needed nearly so badly.

Until the next Chapter...   
SkyDragon2083

Finished June 14, 2005   
Slightly revised July 5, 2006   
Released July 8, 2006


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